On My Cat

OK - I admit it. The picture is a fake.

The anvil is made of papier mache.

Now if I just wait here - maybe...

Now I know you guys are moving but you won't forget me will you?

...or me!

"Internet Explorer has stopped working" - again!

A while ago I was getting this message "Internet Explorer has stopped working" whenever I used Internet Explorer. It often happened when I was using the program but always happened whenever I closed the program - something I found irritating since it made closing IE a two click operation. Firefox 3 is my default browser but since I check web pages in several different browsers to make sure they work properly and this was beginning to annoy me.

At first I thought it was merely a bug in Internet Explorer 8 Beta 1 which I was testing. I researched the problem on Internet looking for a cure but nothing I did seemed to stop the problem.

'Oh well' I thought. 'Time to un-install IE8 Beta 1'. I did and fired up IE7 to test it. It seemed fine until I closed it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working" A little more research was needed.

I disabled all plugins. A number of them have been pointed at as the cause of the problem including Omnipage (which I don't have), Yahoo and Skype (which I did have). I still got "Internet Explorer has stopped working" every time I closed IE (version 7 now).

I reset IE using the 'Advanced' options - Open Control Panel > Internet Options > Advanced (tab) > under " Reset Internet Explorer settings, click "Reset". I opened IE, closed it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working".

I cleared all cookies, opened IE, closed it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working".

I deleted the cache, browser history and cookies again, opened IE, closed it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working".

On one site I found the suggestion that I make IE the default browser and then go through the install and uninstall routine for IE8 beta 1 again before reseting Firefox as the default again. I tried it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working"

Then Internet Explorer beta 2 came out. I installed it and for a while success! I could open and close IE without seeing "Internet Explorer has stopped working". The success was short lived however I soon got "Internet Explorer has stopped working" not only when I closed IE but also at times when IE was not even loaded - probably the latter being caused by EditPlus, the text editor I use often which uses the IE engine to display web pages being worked on.

I'm still looking for a reliable cure. At the moment I've disabled IE's 'Protected Mode' - Thats done in Control panel > Internet Options > Security tab > uncheck 'Enable Protected Mode'. It causes IE to display a warning when using it, but there's an option when you click it to not repeat the warning. It's also something I wouldn't want to do unless you have an up-to-date anti-malware program. I use Kaspersky Internet Security which gets updated hourly.

For the moment I get no "Internet Explorer has stopped working" error messages but then I've been here before. I'll let you know what happens.

My war against the rabbits

This morning at 5:00am I was out in the garden, dressed only in a bathrobe, wielding a large stick and for half an hour I chased a rabbit with murder in my heart!

The little B*##~% got away!

It all started when we moved to a new house out in the country. There was a lot to do in the house but outside - the garden could only be described as a disaster area. It was a wilderness of weeds, grass, stone, wire a ramshackle shed/greenhouse and a mound of bricks. There were rabbits everywhere.

I suppose that's what comes of living on a hill between a derelict railway line(at the left of the picture) and a main road (on the right) with a forest on the other side of the rail bed. The soil contains a lot of ash from the steam trains which used to run here and in the trees surrounding us on both sides there are rabbit warrens.

At first we thought they were cute. They had been undisturbed for a while and didn't seem too concerned by our presence. They just kept about 10 yards away and kept on nibbling. When we came home in the car there were usually four or five running along the drive (the old rail bed) in front of us.

For a while they didn't annoy us. We were too busy working on fixing up the house inside to bother with the garden. It was April - warm and wet this year - the grass was growing fast but I didn't have to mow the lawn, the rabbits did that for us. Eventually we just had to do something about that garden. It was obvious that with so many rabbits around vegetables were out of the question so we mowed the lawn, used some of the bricks to make a path and planted a few flowers. The flowers were promptly eaten.

"Oh well" we thought, "once we can let the cats out they'll chase the rabbits off and we can just plant stuff the rabbits won't eat for now." A little research on Internet soon told us however that rabbits are a gardeners WORST enemy but that they wouldn't eat daffodils, forget-me-nots or roses. Daffodils and forget-me-nots abounded in the garden already so we bought some roses and planted those. By morning there were just the stems left. Rabbits WILL eat roses!

"Oh there are lots of things they won't eat" said a guy in our local garden centre. "Its just that no one is quite sure just what they don't like. We have chicken wire that keeps them out though."
"They won't eat marigolds" said a customer at the checkout. We bought chicken wire, marigolds and some begonias which we thought we could protect.

Back home we planted the marigolds and started work on surrounding the garden with a 'rabbit proof' fence. It was obvious that this would take some time so we built a cage with some old wire we found to surround the begonias. The next morning we discovered that rabbits do not like marigolds - in fact they hate them so much they bite the flowers off and drop them so that they don't produce seed and spread further.

I used more of the bricks to build a section of wall on the side next to the road and used corrugated iron sheets too. On the railway line side we repaired the fence already there and used more bricks dug down into the ground to stop the rabbits digging under it. Next to the house and at the far end of the garden we completed a new fence and two gates across the paths. "That should do it." we thought after we blocked up the rabbit holes with bricks and finally let our two cats loose.

It was at this point that we discovered that rabbits can get through 50mm chicken wire!
Three of them got in; one escaped through the wire and two were caught alive when they chose to hide behind our garden table stacked on edge at the side of the fence. We used our cat box as a cage for them and started experimenting to see just what they would eat.

We bought 20mm rabbit wire, split the rolls down the middle and put it on top of our existing fence near the ground to keep out those young ones which could get through the 50mm wire. We reasoned that we didn't need the full height wire since the little ones couldn't reach the 50mm section at the top and the bigger ones which could would be too big to get through it. This time we thought we had done it.

Next morning the garden was still full of rabbits which disappeared under the garden shed when we chased them. They had dug a tunnel under it from the warren by the side of the road. I surrounded the shed base with a brick wall sealing them off.

Next morning at 5:00am our son woke me up to tell me there was squealing downstairs. It turned out that one of our cats had caught a rabbit and brought it into the house to play with. It was still alive but only just. I cleaned up the blood from the living room carpet and gave it the coupe de grasse.

The rabbit population started to drop. Our cats killed at least three that we know of, a family of weasels moved into our neighbourhood and a fox can be heard barking at night (much to the annoyance of the local gamekeeper who is rearing pheasants in our wood).

For a few days we thought we had them beaten. The grass on our lawn started to grow and dandelions started to appear. It seems dandelions are a rabbit favourite. Our experiments with the ones we captured seemed to show that they will eat just about anything if they are hungry enough unless the plant is poisonous e.g. foxgloves. Some plants they obviously don't like but will nibble at and drop. Some plants - like marigolds, they won't eat but do their best to destroy. We found a booklet 'Gardening With The Enemy' by Janet Thompson which was some help which has a list of rabbit resistant plants. It's list isn't perfect though since we found some plants they rate as 'rabbit safe' get eaten by ours and others they bite and spit out. We felt confident enough to buy over a hundred pounds worth of plants and plant out the sweet peas we knew they love above all other plants.

And that brings me to this morning when I got up to go to the bathroom and looked out of the window to see a rabbit eating the sweet peas ...aaaggghhh! The worst of it is that I can't find where it got in and it couldn't get out easily until it escaped over the remains of the brick pile.

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If this post has proved of interest to you would you do me a favour in return? Download a FREE copy of the book I co-author - a romantic technothriller called 'A Vested Interest'. Even if you don't read it it will help our ratings. You can get it at http://smarturl.it/avi and if you want to read it, you can use a phone, a tablet, a computer or even a Kindle.

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The great plastic bag con.

Just recently the Prime Minister was in the news talking about introducing legislation to reduce single use plastic bags (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7101075.stm). Now I may be a cynic but I suspect he's more interested in the tax other countries have introduced on plastic bags rather than any real green motive.
Ireland has introduced such a tax and now charges 15 cents per bag. In the UK the tax would probably be 10p.

Now, admittedly the Irish tax has slashed the number of plastic bags used dramatically - by 277 million says the Irish government, but it's also raised 2½ million pounds in tax. In the UK if a similar pattern was followed it would raise 70 million pounds in tax. Now this is a drop in the ocean as far as UK tax is concerned - it would cost each of us in the UK just over £1.00 per year and would save 8.4 billion plastic bags each year! That would probably make our environment a lot tidier. But would it actually be much use as a way of combatting global warming?

Let's work it out:
On average each of us in the UK uses 150 bags each per year.
Each one weighs 8 grams - that's 1.2 Kg of plastic which if burnt would produce 3.7Kg of carbon dioxide.
Now that's not quite a true figure because a) CO2 is produced in the manufacturing process and transport of the bags b) many of the bags are disposed of in landfills where they do not decompose but instead remove carbon from our environment.
Let's take a worst case scenario and assume that all the bags are incinerated and that an equal amount of CO2 is produced in the bag manufacture. That would mean each of us is producing 7.5Kg of CO2 each year by just using plastic bags.

Now, let's compare that with other things.
An average motorist in the UK uses 1143 litres of fuel per year and produces 2700Kg of CO2 from it. By reducing his car use by just 0.3% (3/1000ths) each year Mr Average would save his 7.5Kg of CO2
If we all bought 0.3% more local products rather than foreign imports we could save ten times as much CO2 (from transport production of CO2) as we would use with plastic bags.
If we each used 900 fewer sheets of paper each year then that would save the same amount of CO2 as we use in plastic bags - That's equivalent to a magazine per month, two books less per year or just ten fewer newspapers. (Before you say it using recycled paper actually produces more CO2 since there are extra processing costs)

In fact we could produce less CO2 than we use in plastic bags by:

• fitting a single low wattage bulb as a replacement
• turning down the thermostat by just 0.3 degrees (wouldn't it be nice if thermostats were that accurate?)
• fitting an extra 1cm of loft insulation (of course you can't buy insulation that thin so you'll save much more than this)
  
• switching the TV off at night rather than leaving it on standby
• recycling glass bottles
• recycling aluminium cans
• unplugging your mobile phone charger when not using it
• fixing a sheet of aluminium foil to the wall behind your radiators (use Blue-tac).

There are lots of other ways - try a search for 'reducing greenhouse gasses' (Watch out for that misleading 'recycle paper' though)

Now what does this mean.

• Putting a tax on plastic bags and pretending to be 'green' is foolish. It's easy to say, makes the government a little extra cash and achieves very little other than tidying the environment.
• Shops like the idea. Those plastic bags cost them about 2p each. I find it interesting that firms like Tesco offer a 'green point' worth 1p every time you reuse a large bag which holds at least twice the amount you put in single use bags. (2 x 2p = 4p, less 1p for a green point = 3 p extra profit)
  
• There are far more effective ways of reducing greenhouse gases and almost all of them save you money.
  

Having said all that - Lets get rid of the bags but only because of the litter problem they create not because of the greenhouse problem.

Goji Berries - I'm convinced

Article updated 2017

For the last twelve years my family has been eating dried Goji berries as a regular part of our diet after reading the many claims about them being beneficial to health. About a year ago we stopped using them for three weeks and quickly went back to using them. Apart from the fact that we like their taste here's what we found compared with the claim made for them:

Claim: It improves sexual libido (OK I thought you might want this first!)
I find: Yes - it's true! Gentlemen - feed your wife goji berries. But be warned you'll need to eat them yourself to keep up with her.

Claim: It improves circulation
I find: Also true. My wife had always suffered from cold hands and feet - but not when she ate goji berries. When we stopped for three weeks her cold hands returned.

Claim: It is beneficial for prostate problems.
I find: Very sure about this one. After blood tests showed a higher than normal PSA count I underwent a prostate examination (that's another blog) and the verdict was - no sign of prostate cancer and why did my doctor ask for the test? As you get older prostate glands tend to enlarge causing difficulty urinating. Eating a handful of dried goji berries per day will greatly relieve this. DO get your doctor to get this checked out though.

Claim: They reduce cholesterol levels.
I find: Another one I can't confirm but - in those blood tests my cholesterol level was found to be lower than normal. Stop panicking about cholesterol though. In the last year or so research has indicated it's not as bad as previously made out. Google it.

Claim: They reduce joint problems.
I find: True. My wife had problems with her wrists, she has apparently bones which are too flexible and which bend slightly and bruise becoming painful. Since starting to eat goji berries the problem has been much reduced. I used to get periodic stiff necks. Not a trace of them since starting to take goji berries.

Claim: They improve eyesight.
I find: I think it's true. Both of us have stopped wearing glasses to read. When we stopped taking goji berries we had to use glasses again.

Claim: They improve the skin and make you look younger.
I find: Hmm. Can't be sure about this one but then we both signed the Peter Pan pledge years ago. I retired a while back and people kept saying ' Retire? Surely you are not old enough'.

Claim: They reduce inflammation more effectively than aspirin.
I find: Certainly true for joint problems but not quite as instant. Having said that the only headache I've had in the last years was during the three week period when we stopped taking them.

Claim: They promote a general feeling of well being.
I find: I feel just fine but then I always did and can't honestly say I've noticed any difference. My wife however is convinced she feels better when taking them.

Now for the bits we've found out that as far as we can tell isn't recorded about the berries.

1. They are very easy to grow yourself. Put three of the dried berries in a small pot of damp compost. Seedlings will grow within 3 weeks. Once they are 10cm tall transfer them to a bigger pot. They like practically any soil, shade or sunshine. You'll need to protect them from slugs - they love the leaves. Berries can start forming in the second year but you won't get a decent crop for several years. You'll need to protect them from birds and rabbits who also love them. We have ours where we grow roses and mixed in with hawthorn hedges.
2. The berries taste great eaten fresh or can be dried for storage. We have a hot air drier which works well. You are not supposed to pick the berries by hand because they are very easily damaged (like ripe blackberries).
3. Check your local chinese supermarket for a cheaper source of the dried berries, failing that try Holland and Barret or even Tesco as a source. Tesco is an expensive source however. If you live in South East England, especially Suffolk look out for them growing in roadside hedges. You can also buy organic Tibetan goji berries online at https://buywholefoodsonline.co.uk
4. Buy plain yoghurt and add dried goji berries. Leave overnight or for 2-3 hours. The berries will re-hydrate and taste delicious with the yoghurt. Some people may like to liquidise or chop the berries in the yoghurt before eating it.
5. If you can't wait, add boiling water to dried berries. They will re-hydrate within 10 minutes and you can drink the liquid too.
6. Cats may love the dried berries. They make great treats for those which do.
7. Re-hydrated dried goji berries are a great addition to oatmeal when making flapjack.
8. The young leaves can be used to make a herbal tea.
9. The roots of a goji berry plant can be washed, crushed and work well as an antiseptic for scratches.
10. You can make a goji berry juice from the dried berries. Soak them overnight in the fridge then put them through a cold press juicer. This will remove the numerous seeds (which you can plant). Try adding a little cherry juice concentrate for extra flavour.

Finally - here's a WARNING!

DON'T use goji berries if your doctor has prescribed you with Warfarin. Goji berries are high in vitamin K and that interferes with Warfarin.

All in all goji berries are here to stay in my family. It's just a shame they are so expensive in the shops and as yet, because we moved house, we haven't enough plants to supply all our needs.

Brain teaser

It was Jane's birthday and John heard her say -
"I'm twenty-eight today. Last year I was twenty-nine and in two years I'll be twenty. See?"

Everything Jane said was the truth.

Exactly how old is Jane really today?

Answer at the bottom of Sweet Choice

Big brother wants to watch you (even more) - UK Road Tax Scheme

The UK government has plans to replace the current road tax and petrol duty with a pay as you go road use charge. (If any US readers are about to move on to a different blog - don't - If this goes ahead in the UK, you're next!)

Here is an outline of the key points of the plan (taken from the BBC website):

• Each driver would be charged for every mile of his or her journey.
• Prices would start from as little as 2p a mile on quiet roads outside rush hours.
• The maximum price would be £1.34 a mile on busy motorways like the M25 at peak times.
• Current charges of fuel tax and road tax would be scrapped.
• A pilot scheme covering a region or large conurbation could be operating "within five years".
• If all goes well a nationwide scheme could be rolled out within 10 years.
• A Department for Transport (DFT) feasibility study concluded last year that a national scheme had the potential to cut congestion by about 40% with "only 4% less cars using the roads".
• He (Mr Darling, the Secretary of State for Transport) wants a decision on whether or not road pricing should be implemented "during the course of this parliament".
• Mr Darling said new technology was already being used to "better manage road space" - for example a new system of "traffic management " on the M42.

Now let's take a look at how this would affect the 'average' driver using an 'average' car (A petrol Vauxhall Astra 1.6).

According to government statistics Mr Average drives 15,872 Km (9,862 miles) per year and pays road tax of £175 ($350) and pays 84.4 pence per litre ($6.39 per US gallon compared with US price average of $2.34!)

Of that 84.4 pence per litre 47.1p is fuel duty and 12.57p is VAT. (in US terms that amounts to taxes of $4.41 per gallon). Minus just the fuel duty petrol (gas) in the UK would cost 29.1p per litre ($2.15 per US gallon).

Mr Average's Astra car uses 1143 litres of petrol per year giving him an average of 8.63 miles per litre (that's 32.7 miles per US gallon). At current fuel costs Mr Average's costs per mile travelled are:

• 7.3 pence per mile for fuel duty
• 1.8 pence per mile for road tax

Total 9.1 pence per mile. (18¢)

If the new scheme were to be adopted then both of these taxes will be removed (I know what you are thinking - yeah right) and be replaced with a charge per mile that you travel.

Now if you live in the country and only travel on minor roads at non-peak times that would cost you 2 pence per mile which represents a saving of 7.1 pence per mile or £700 per year ($1,368). But how many of us drive like that? Most of us work in cities and have to travel there at peak times. Some unfortunates could find themselves paying mostly £1.34 per mile travelled or £12,318 ($24,000) a year worse off!

Just what is meant by 'peak' times and which roads will get the high charges? According to a document I found at the Department for Transport website it means 7:00-10:00am and 4:00pm-7:00pm and no fewer than 89 major roads are probably due for the £1.34 charge. Here's the list I found:
A1; A1(M); A1033; A11; A12; A120; A14; A168; A180; A19; A2; A21; A23; A259; A27; A282; A3; A30; A303; A31; A34; A35; A38; A40; A404; A404(M); A417; A419; A421; A428; A43; A449; A452; A453; A46; A47; A49; A5; A50; A500; A5111; A5117; A52; A55; A556; A56; A57; A590; A595; A6; A616; A628; A63; A64; A66; A66(M); A69; A742; M1; M11; M18; M180; M2; M20; M23; M25; M26; M27; M271; M3; M4; M40; M42; M45; M5; M50; M53; M54; M55; M56; M6; M6 Toll3; M60 via Barton; M60 via Stockport; M62; M65; M66; M67; M69

Now what about the 'gas guzzlers'? According to the plan there won't be any advantage in choosing to use a fuel efficient car over a 'gas guzzler'. Does anyone really expect this to be allowed? It seems to fly in the face of our aims for reducing carbon emissions. Perhaps different charge bands will be introduced for different vehicles? Maybe that £1.34 is for an 'average' vehicle?

How's it going to work? It seems dependant on GPS technology. Now judging from the number of times that GPS loses a signal or puts you on the wrong road, I expect there will be a few problems here! It's going to involve a £200 ($390) 'black box'. Guess who will pay for that! Will it offer any advantages such as the box recommending which road to use? Will we trust it? Will we all take to the back roads and cause new congestion on roads less likely to cope? How long will it take someone to come up with a hack to reduce your charges? If your car is stolen do you get to pay for the miles the thief drives?

What about privacy? The system will record exactly where the car is and exactly what time it travels. Who will be able to access this information? The police could use it to cut car theft but who else will be able to get the information? Now I can't think of a genuine reason why I would object to the police knowing my position but I can't really say I would be comfortable with this! What happens if I inadvertently travel from A to B at slightly more than the speed limit? Would I get an automatic ticket or a warning from the black box to slow down?

All in all the system proposed has some good features but is far too complex, open to abuse, will probably cause an increase in carbon emissions and will be expensive to run. Although I hate the amount of duty w pay, it would be far better to leave the current system in place.

As to the road congestion problem I would like to remind the government that around 1900 there was a serious concern about the amount of horse s*#t on the roads and predictions that by 1920 we would be knee deep in it.

So what can we do? Sit there and take it? For the first time it's now possible to have an effect on the decision. In a stroke of genius (rare in government circles) our government in the UK is allowing us to make our voice heard by signing petitions online. Go to the site - http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/traveltax/ and sign it before the Feb 20th deadline. All you need is an e-mail address, house number and postcode. At the time of writing 10pm Friday 16th Feb 2007 no fewer than 1,535,803 people in the UK had done so. Tell all your friends to sign it too!

Don't print this!

I'm always complaining to students about the amount of paper they waste. By the time they print work a few times, use worksheets, exam papers, make paper airplanes and get newsletters they must be well on the way to using the average office worker's 10,000 sheets per year.

Paper is environmentally expensive to produce and most people are not aware of it's effect on the environment.

So lets look at this on a 'per sheet' basis ; (standard copy paper).

• Each sheet weighs about 5 grams
• Just over 15 grams of wood are used to make it.
• For each sheet 5 grams of sludge is produced which has to be disposed of.
• To make each sheet requires 200KJ of energy of which 95KJ are bought in as coal/gas/oil or electricity.
• Each sheet produces 12.9 grams of carbon dioxide during it's manufacture, transport and eventual disposal by decomposition or burning.
• Each sheet used adds 6.1 grams of carbon dioxide to global warming (the remaining 6.8 g is used by the trees grown for the next sheet).
• Each sheet of paper produces 0.06 gram of sulphur dioxide and 0.04 grams of nitrogen dioxide in it's manufacture. Both cause acid rain.
• Each sheet adds a tiny amount of nasties such as dioxin to the environment.
• Recycling means less trees are cut down but does not significantly affect the amount of undesirable gases produced due to it's reprocessing costs.
• White recycled paper adds a disastrous amount of bleach and sludge to the environment. The ONLY sensible way to recycle paper is to use it for unbleached cardboard. Somehow, recycled brown toilet paper just doesn't appeal.

Now since that average office worker is using 10,000 sheets of paper per year this means they are adding:

• 61Kg of CO2 to global warming
• Using enough water to fill a small swimming pool
• producing about 130Kg of acid rain causing gas.
• adding 45 grams of 'nasties' to the environment

Make what you will of this article. Just one thing - don't print it!

Useful websites:Paper Vs plastic bags? http://www.angelfire.com/wi/PaperVsPlastic/
The paper calculator http://www.environmentaldefense.org/papercalculator/

BSE/nvCJD in the news - Friday 8th Dec 2006

nvCJD (variant Creutzfeld-Jacob Disease) has raised it's ugly head again. Apparently it's been discovered that it can be passed on by blood transfusions. Doctors have no way of detecting it in blood and three people have now been identified as having got the disease from the blood of a nvCJD victim. The worrying thing is that nvCJD has up to a 50 year dormancy period. There is no easy way of detecting just how many people are infected with CJD although it has been discovered to be detectable in the tissue of the tonsils long before symptoms of it appear.

nvCJD is believed to originate from eating beef where the animal had BSE (Bovine spongiform encephalopathies) or 'Mad Cow Disease'. By 2006 153 deaths had been attributed to eating BSE infected beef or from medical procedures where the infectious agents were passed on.

BSE was first identified in cattle in the UK around 1986. Once it was established that the probable cause of the disease was that cattle had been fed animal protine to increase milk yields, I and my family stopped eating beef from the UK. I realised that if it could survive the temperature involved in the processing and pass from sheep to cattle then there was a good chance that it would pass to humans also.

It was several years later (1990) that the 'BSE scare' reached a peak and the UK health minister publicly ate a beefburger to calm fears. That didn't reassure me though. Next came a daft idea that 'they' would ban the sale of beef from cattle more than 30 months old and therefore ensure public safety. Now it usually takes longer than that for symptoms of BSE to appear in cattle and this idea means that it was then impossible to detect if the meat was infected or not! A much more sensible idea would have been to ban the sale of meat younger than 30 months and therefore give the disease a chance to develop to the point where it could be detected.

The 30 month rule ended in November 2005 and was replaced by the compulsory testing of slaughtered animals for BSE.

The use of animal protein in cattle food was banned in July 1988. It was expected that the appearance of new cases would gradually stop. When cows born after the 1988 ban started to develop symptoms, it became apparent that BSE could be passed from mother to calf. The UK government body which deals with BSE, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) introduced in May 2006 an 'offspring cull' where the calves of any cow determined to be infected with BSE were to be slaughtered. A great idea, but the regulation does not go far enough. It applies only to calves born in the previous two years, and, as DEFRA itself declares, on average it takes five years for BSE symptoms to appear. It has not been established if BSE can be passed on in this incubation period. A safer, (but much more expensive), policy would have been for all descendants of a BSE infected cow to be slaughtered.

So what exactly is the situation now?
The UK has by far had the greatest number of cases of BSE and it is certain that some infected animals entered the UK food chain. Since nvCJD may remain dormant for very long periods - 20 years and more, so far we may only have seen nvCJD in those people particularly susceptible to it. There may be a huge number of cases about to appear in the next few years. See the chart at the end of this post.

Cases of BSE in the UK are now much better controlled. If the steps are effective then BSE will disappear in the UK. I suspect there will still be some since it's possible that the two year offspring cull is not enough to eradicate it. I personally still won't eat British beef unless I know it's from a purebred 'non-dairy' beef herd such as Aberdeen Angus and preferably one which is 'grass fed'.

The table below, based on latest results for 2005, shows the likelihood you have of finding a BSE infected animal. All countries where a BSE case has been confirmed are shown.

Country	Current odds 1 in:
Portugal	23,529
UK	51,152
Spain	64,286
Ireland	97,101
Austria	110,000
Czech Republic	200,000
Luxembourg	205,000
Poland	300,000
Slovak Republic	350,000
Germany	459,375
Slovenia	500,000
Switzerland	533,333
Japan	657,143
France	677,419
Italy	925,000
Netherlands	1,333,333
Denmark	1,572,000
Belgium	1,700,000
Canada	13,700,000
United States	98,000,000
Liechtenstein	n/a
Falkland Isles	n/a
Oman	n/a
Israel	n/a
Greece	n/a
Finland	n/a

What's more worrying however is the graph showing potential cases of nvCJD which could exist:. People in the UK don't seem to be aware that some countries (e.g. Belgium) will not accept blood donors who lived in the UK during the 1990s.

For more information on BSE try http://www.food.gov.uk/bse/ and http://www.bseinquiry.gov.uk/
For information on new variant Creutzfeldt-Jacob Disease try http://www.cjdfoundation.org/ or http://www.stanford.edu/~siegelr/ajai.html

Unsolicited telemarketing

You're in the middle of watching your favourite TV program and the phone rings - someone wanting to sell you double glazing/insulation/burglar alarm e.t.c. Know the thing?

The easy answer is to just say no and put the phone down but you've probably missed a key part of your program and sit there fuming.

Now my phone number (and that of my mobile) is registered with the Telephone Preference Service (TPS) and has been registered for some time. Telephone cold callers are breaking the regulations of the Telecommunications (Data Protection and Privacy) Regulations 1999 and if they make the call can be fined by the Information commissioner. I don't get nearly as many phone calls as I used to but I still get some. Those I do get are listed as 'private' in caller display so I make a point of getting their details and address before I tell them I'm making a complaint against them.

There are numerous websites which go into detail about how to 'get your own back' on the perpetrators of these nuisance calls (My personal favourite is to ask them to call me back on a premium rate number which keeps them on hold for some time without actually telling them anything). I suspect however that it's a waste of time since these callers are probably well used to this and just move on to the next number.

Here's a few suggestions you might try:

• Ask them to hold for a while, put the phone down after muting it and leave it for about 10min. Don't give them the chance to say 'I'll call back'.
• Tell them you are interested and make an appointment for them to visit the guy up the street who had that noisy party. Ask them to call at 2am when you 'get back from work'.
• Tell them you are just about to get on a plane and ask them to phone you in 3 hours on 0041177 (the Japanese prerecorded weather service)
• always make an appointment for conservatory salesmen to call and give you a quote if you live in an upper floor flat/apartment
• Or you can simply take pity on the poor soul who has such a rotten job and just tell them you're not interested.

Now what about text messages? If you register your mobile number with the TPS (website http://www.tpsonline.org.uk) then you sold not receive advertising SMS messages either. At least that's the theory. I still get them from Bambuubar, a nightclub in Southampton. Now why I would want to travel from London to Southampton to go to a nightclub is a mystery to me! But as a point of principle I would never attend any event publicized by text messages I haven't asked for. Neither would I buy anything.

As far as Bambuubar and I are concerned:

• If they can afford to publicize by sms then they are making too much money.
• If they are sending free sms messages then that's the same as spamming e-mail as far as I'm concerned and I hate spam!
• The place on their website looks too pokey for me.
• If I get another sms I'll complain to the Information Commissioner.
• I suggest you avoid the place since their text messages are so annoying.
• Who the h*** is Tim Westwood from Radio 1 and MTV anyway and does he know Bambuubar seems to be breaking the Privacy and Electronic Communications (EC Directive) Regulations Act of 2003 to advertise him?

Implications of the Relativity Drive

In an article published by New Scientist Magazine issue 2568 (08 September 2006) Justin Mullins explains the work of Roger Shawyer who claims to have developed an engine with no moving parts referred to as the 'Relativity Drive' or 'EM Engine'.

The drive works by bouncing microwaves inside a specially shaped container with one end wider than the other. At the narrow end the microwaves are reflected more and transfer less momentum to the end wall than at the wide end. Since they are moving at about the speed of light they move, according to Einstein's special theory of relativity, in their own frame of reference and independently of the container.

The actual article has been copied many times on Internet and has even it's own section now on Wikipedia (where the controversy about the drive is discussed more than the drive itself.)

Many debunk the drive as being the same as 'Roadrunner on a skateboard with a sail propelled by a fan on the skateboard'. Yet it should be testable even at home using some parts from an old microwave, a copper foil container and a sensitive electronic balance. (It might be advisable to do it from a distance if you don't want to cook yourself).

What's more of interest to me are the potential implications of a working device.

Assuming a superconducting container, preferably one working at room temperature, then Shawyer calculates a thrust of 30,000 Newtons per kilowatt of power input may be possible. That's enough for us to do away with the internal combustion engine and also to lift a vehicle off the ground. New Scientist shows a diagram of a wingless plane lifted by relativity drives and moved forward by a hydrogen fueled gas turbine. What, however, is to stop the turbine being replaced by yet another relativity drive and the power being obtained from a fuel cell?

Without the need for wings there would be no ceiling for such a vehicle. Space would be as accessible to the individual as the roads are today. The drives themselves should not cost a fortune - after all there are no moving parts unlike an internal combustion engine. Granted you will need to spend money on creating a sealed environment for the driver and passengers and on collision avoidance systems and navigation since there are no roadsigns in space.

Want to visit Auntie on the other side of the world? Just hop in your relativity drive vehicle climb out of the atmosphere, accelerate (maybe powered by solar energy) and coast like a satellite around the world. It may take you a couple of hours but you won't have to wait for the airline to check you in, seat you, and so on. With the availability of cheap personal transport international borders will become a nonsense so you can forget about passports, visas, immigration control, airport security and all that rubbish. Instead of going for a night out in the local town a UK resident could pop over to Vegas for a few hours.

Terrorism? No airplanes and no reason for it anyway since the world's population would be free to move, live and work wherever they want. That includes the rest of the solar system too! Now that might unsettle governments but ... who cares about govenment. I for one would like to see a little democratic anarchy.

Live near an airport? Your house value is going to rise without those noisy planes. A relativity drive vehicle (shall we say RDV from now on?) will be silent. After a while though house prices in the city will fall as cheap personal transport makes living in the country more feasable.

Privacy in your garden? Hmm - that may be a problem with silent RDVs floating overhead. But then anyone who has seen Google Earth or local.live.com will know that back garden privacy will soon be a thing of the past.

Work for a rail service/shipping firm/airport/road construction? Better start looking for a new job. Motor industry? You are going to be selling and maintaining RDVs instead.

Work in the oil industry? Well there won't be the demand for petrol (gas), diesel or aviation fuel but oil products will still be needed for heating and as raw materials. It might reduce pollution and global warming.

How about space travel? By that I mean travel between the Earth and the Moon and planets. We'll have to overcome the absence of the Van Allen belts protecting us against radiation but the good news is that the Sun is expected to go through a quiet phase for a while making interplanetary travel much simpler. If you want a good field to invest in for the future try space suit manufacture and autopilots.

I'm sure there are lots of other ways the RDV would change our lives and I invite you to add them to this blog.

Well I thought it was funny...

Years ago, to earn extra money for my morgage, I worked nights as a taxi driver in Stockton on Tees. One of the other taxi drivers told me this story:

He was driving, as usual, a little too fast and taking a passenger from Stockton to Billingham. As he approached the traffic lights in Norton near a nightclub he saw the lights start to change so started to brake. At this point he realised to his horror that a previous fare had left a bottle in the car and it had rolled forward under the brake pedal preventing him from pushing it. He was doing about 40mph, the lights were now red, there were cars moving out of the junction across his path and there were nightclub visitors crossing the road to a burger van parked outside the club. The only thing he could do was to reach down and pull the bottle out from under the brake. He did that and as he got back up frantically braked. When he finally could see again he found his taxi stopped six inches from the rear of the burger van. He had gone through the lights at red and missed every car and pedestrian.
"Take me back home." said his passenger.
"What for? you've only just left there."
"I need to change my trousers!"

Richard wasn't a very bright student. When he did his technology exam he got everything on the paper wrong apart from one question. He even got everything on the front page wrong.
Surname - he had written the technology teacher's name. "Well you're Sur aren't you?"
Forename - Dickie
Centre Name (the school name) - Alun
The question he got right? he had answered 'Rat shit'
The actual question was 'Name a type of screwdriver.'

I was supervising an English exam at school. I and the other supervisors were run ragged by pupils asking us for pencils - which the English department had not provided. Eventually we ran out and I asked "What do you need a pencil for anyway?".
It was question 5b which said - 'Draw your conclusions...'

Thrush Hall Farm before it was Throstle Hole Abbey

Until I was eight I lived with my family in Walkergate, Newcastle on Tyne. Then my father followed his brother's footsteps and bought a small farm in the wilds of Northumberland.

My father was very much the 'Mr. Jones' in our street in Newcastle. We had the first car, the first TV, a modern kitchen - we were comfortable. Everyone else tried to keep up with us. Thrush Hall Farm was a bit of a change.

For a start - we had no electricity. It was oil lamps and candles upstairs and Calor gas lights and Tilley lamps downstairs. Our TV sat useless in a corner of 'the sitting room' along with our mains radio and gramophone.

There was no bathroom. We did have a bath - it was underneath a counter top in the scullery. We did have the luxury of running hot and cold water. It was heated by a coal fire in the kitchen. Not for us the luxury of chlorinated mains water. Our water supply ran down the field in a ditch. We had a large settling and storage tank just up the hill from the farm buildings. In wet weather it didn't have time to settle and I remember on occasion a large worm would make it's way into the bath. In dry weather the ditch dried up and we had to use a spring in our fields. That spring never dried up, no matter how dry the summer. Not only did it keep us going but it also served for serveral of our neighbours. Unlike the tap water, which had to be boiled, the spring water was pure and delicious.

Toilet? It was outside. Not for us one that flushed. We had an earth closet in a whitewashed outbuilding. I remember a wooden board with a hole you uncovered. At the side of the building was a stone slab which was removed to rake out the contents. I also remember a healthy population of spiders. One day I moved that slab while my sister was sat there and waved a bunch of nettles inside. My sister shot out of that place in hot pursuit of me. Normally I could outrun her but I was laughing so hard she caught me and pulled out handfuls of my hair.

Cooking was done on a Calor gas hob in the scullery or on the coal fire in big cast iron pots. Baking was done in an oven next to the coal fire. I remember that oven served a lot of purposes, from baking to thawing out semi frozen lambs during frosty springs.

The floors in our farm downstairs were made of stone flags. Slabs of stone about two feet by three. The walls of our farmhouse were over two feet thick. They kept us warm in winter and cool in summer. There were small windows facing south with a window ledge that served as a seat at times. There were no windows facing north west or east other than a tiny one in the scullery and an even smaller one filled with perforated zinc mesh in our walk in 'pantry'. The roof was a bit of a mixture. On one side it was stone slabs pegged onto oak beams with sheepbone pegs, on the other side it was slates. The house was built on a slope so was low enough to easily get onto the roof on the slate side. Between the house and the byre there was a cobbled farmyard.

Fridge? We didn't have one. We kept food cool in the pantry and bought fresh food from the many traveling shops which visited.

There were only two bedrooms so Mam & Dad had one and my sister and I shared the other. If you needed to 'go' there was a chamber pot under the bed.

Winters were something else! We were 1700 Ft up in the Pennine hills in a valley surrounded by open fells. When the wind blew all the snow made it's way into the valley and we were 'snowed in'. We had been warned about this and my mother took care to lay in a stock of tinned and dried food. Once the snow started the traveling shops didn't make it to our farm and we had to rely on our stores. That first year I remember helping my parents to dig snow, and dig, and dig and... The temperature plummeted. We had a thermometer outside and I remember eleven degrees of frost. At night we snuggled under two quilts and lots of blankets. (No central heating.) In the morning it was not unusual to find half an inch of ice on the windows. I learnt to keep my clothes for the next day under the top quilt and to get dressed before I got out of bed.

Our normal footwear was the Wellington boot with thick socks. In winter we learnt to wear two pairs of jeans with the outer pair outside the wellingtons to stop the snow getting inside them.

In winter we had to feed our cattle (kept in the byre) and sheep (outdoors). Feeding the cows was a twice a day job and mucking out I found difficult. My problem was that I wasn't strong enough to wheel the wheelbarrow without the risk of it turning over. When it did it was fill it again. One of our cows we milked, a mild mannered shorthorn cow called Daisy. Mostly my mother did this but both my sister and I learnt it too. The trick is to keep your head close to the side of the cow )so she can't whip you in the eyes with her tail)and avoid her stepping or kicking over the pail (by keeping her occupied with some food). We could only milk her part of the year - for the rest we bought milk from Sarah Clark our neighbour.

Another job my father gave me was to bury dead sheep. Our first sheep were old and several died of age. Try burying a sheep in winter when the already stony ground is frozen hard. You do it with a pick, a spade and a shovel.

In spring there was lambing. I learnt to catch the new born lambs with a shepherd's crook and inject it against disease. Lambs are nice, cute and playful. Adult sheep are smelly and frustratingly stupid however. They would jump the stone walls of our farm to get to the much poorer grazing in our neighbours property. As they did so they often caused the ancient dry stone walls to collapse and these needed rebuilding. They say dry stone walling is an art but I learnt it at an early age. I must have been ok at it because my repairs didn't fall down again.

Summer was a different matter. It meant haymaking and we did it the hard way by hand since we did not have a tractor. We got someone to cut the hay and we then used huge wooden rakes to turn the swathes over after drying a few days. If it rained - we did it again. We then raked three rows into one and again let it dry. Next we raked it into small mounds - Kyles. These were then put together into much bigger mounds - Pikes. After the pikes had dried a while they were taken by tractor to the hay barn where it was forked through the narrow door. It was all hard work and my sister and I being only ten and eight years old didn't get me out of it.

Around 1960 electricity finally made it to our valley and at last we could watch tv again. By this time however our TV was too old to pick up the ITV channels that were now being broadcast. We didn't miss it much. We were too busy on the farm. About the same time we did some building work on the farm and at last installed a bathroom with flush toilet and a third bedroom. The scullery was extended in a DIY conversion and joined with the walk in pantry. My father did the work, taking down the wall and installing a thick oak beam to support the bit left. The following morning we came downstairs to find that oak beam bent nearly in a U shape. There turned out to be another 10 feet of two feet thick stone wall above it. It all had to come down. Fortunately this bit wasn't load bearing at the top. To replace the walk in pantry we knocked through to the stable next door and I helped a friend who often helped out on our farm, Dick Phillipson, build a new wall. I remember him sitting astride a beam while I passed him buckets of rubble to fill the gap between the two layers of wall he had built. Suddenly there was a loud rumble, a muttered curse and Dick got very carefully down from his perch. One half of the wall which supported the beam he was sitting on had collapsed and had to be rebuilt.

We also dug out the back of the house and made a new entrance from the yard into the scullery. It used to get filled with snow in winter so eventually we roofed this area over.

Dick usually cut our hay and brought the pikes' in for us. He lived at Nenthead and came over from there on his tractor. He was already old when I first met him but he didn't seem old to me. He was very strong in a wiry way and was one of the few people I knew who had been a lead miner before the mines in the area closed down. His tractor made all the difference to us. My mother was persuaded to drive it. One day I remember her trying to change gear as she brought in a pike. She missed the gear and the tractor started to roll backwards down the hill. She wasn't heavy enough to get enough pressure on the brake and would have ended up back down the hill had one of the prongs of the pike lifter not struck one of the large Scots pine trees which separated two of our hay fields. A few years ago I visited our old farm again, (it's now Throstle Hole Abbey, a Buddhist monastery) and the mark can still be seen in the tree after 40 years.

With the arrival of electricity we bought a deep freeze. I remember seeing it empty apart from the first item we put in it - a packet of fishcakes. One day when Dick arrived my mother took them out to have for lunch. She wasn't quite used to deep freezes though because when she served them they burnt your mouth on the outside and had a chunk of frozen fish in the inside. We still tease her about hot frozen fishcakes. The freezer didn't stay empty long. We had whole pigs, vegetables and fruit in it.

Electricity meant also that my father could start installing central heating. He bought a coal fired boiler, a pump, pipes and radiators and started connecting things up. When he got sick of the job of bashing holes through two foot thick stone walls I took over. I knew nothing about central heating and simply connected everything in series. When we switched it on the radiator in my room was red hot and the one last in line, downstairs in the sitting room, was barely warm. It worked though and made the house warmer. I then read books on central heating and found out what I should have done. Years later I met a guy in a pub in Allendale who talked about what a botch job the central heating was there. I kept quiet.

My mother did most of the work on the farm since my father worked full time as an electrical engineer. She raised cattle, sheep, pigs, chickens, ducks and at one time goats. She gardened, repaired walls, dipped sheep, milked, lambda, calfed, built animal shelters and cleaned them. In addition she delivered children to the primary school and did a post round. After my parents divorced she sold the farm in 1969 to some Londoners who turned it into a hippy commune. Later it became Throstle Hole Abbey a Soto Zen Buddhist abbey; the name coming from the old name for Thrush Hall.

Distorted Carrots?

OK - so I move to a new house with a massive 150ft garden. Now I don't know a lot about gardening, but I decided it would be worth a try growing vegetables. I got a good crop of potatoes, especially since they were grown from peelings. Peas and beans were great. My sweetcorn, squash, celery, courgettes (zucchini) are delicious. The tomatoes - well, I'm getting sick of them! The cabbage and broccoli are fine now that I've persuaded the caterpillars to go elsewhere.

My carrots though are pathetic. They grow, but I've never seen such distorted efforts.
Now there must be some knowlegeable gardeners out there. What am I doing wrong?
Does Miracle Grow contain testosterone?

TV Adverts (or should that be Advertzzzzzzzz...)

While on holiday I've been watching a bit more TV than usual. As a result I've been exposed to a fair few TV adverts. Now having lived for a while in both the US and Canada I know that we in the UK get a better deal than elsewhere, we don't for instance, get adverts immediately after opening titles or just before the closing credits. But still - some of those adverts are soooo boooring! Others are intensely annoying, and yet more are unbelievably stupid.

So here's my list of adverts that I really hate and those I actually enjoy.

Hate:
The stupid advert which features a football maniac phoning up for a loan whilst his grinning idiot wife videos everything with her video camera instead of snatching his football and throwing it out the window. It's so annoying I mute the sound every time it comes on. Now I know some adverts are designed to be annoying so we remember the name of the company/product but if that's the case here ... Who?

The NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) advert featuring children suffering. Isn't this a case of cruelty to children? Maybe some of them are brilliant child actors but that tot in the baby bouncer? Sorry NSPCC I'm NOT going to donate because no amount of money will stop some parents from being cruel and I'm certainly not going to help you pay for more of these adverts!

Like:
The Renault Megan adverts - funny, sexy and almost enough to make me interested in buying a very ugly car!

Boring:

The Elephant insurance adverts - I have enough trouble staying awake in front of TV without them to send me to sleep!

Amusing - but not in the way they plan:

Years ago I was a member of the AA (Automobile Association). I quit and joined the RAC (Royal Automobile Club) after waiting for nearly 3 hours for a patrol to arrive when my car broke down. After watching the AA advert on TV I finally can figure out why it took so long - all their patrol men are off in Scotland making adverts!

Their latest advert says 95% of their members would recommend them. Now maybe they haven't noticed but that means 5% of their members are unhappy and won't be a member after their subscription runs out. Hey AA - you are losing 5% of your members every year!

Talking of unintentionally amusing adverts - remember these from the past?

• 'Nothing acts faster than Anadin' - so take nothing and your headache will get better quicker.


• 'Persil washes whiter' - Than mud?

So what adverts does everyone else like/dislike?

Sweet Choice

In a letter to New Scientist (issue 24 June 2006) Richard Laming of the British Soft Drinks Association states:

'Intense sweeteners allow consumers to enjoy soft drinks while restricting their calorie intake if they wish to do so. They are always listed on the label so that consumers can have the choice'
How does this stand up to reality? In a visit to my local Tesco supermarket I was unable to find a single 2 litre bottle of lemonade which did NOT contain Aspartame. In each case the bottle was passed to me to read because my wife was unable to read the tiny print on the list of ingredients. (The one brand of lemonade which I know does not contain Aspartame, 7-up, was out of stock). Some choice! In the UK the matter has been made worse by the government, who introduced an extra tax on drinks containing a lot of sugar. manufacturers saw their demand for drinks fall and responded by using sweeteners instead of sugar. Stevia seems to be popular but since it leaves a liquorice like aftertaste they add other questionable  things to disguise that.

Now I'm not saying Aspartame is bad - I just remain confused as to whether it is or is not safe so in the meantime I choose not to eat or drink the stuff.

Footnote Sept 28 2007
I'm pleased to find that Asda, Marks & Spencer and Sainsbury, for a while, stopped adding Aspartame to their own brand drinks. That means you can once again buy low cost lemonade without the stuff. Now maybe we can persuade Tesco to do the same?

Footnote April 2009
It seems that pandas are unique amongst animals in that they prefer the taste of Aspartame. In an experiment they, along with other animals were given a choice of water flavoured with six different natural sweeteners or six different artificial sweeteners. Only the pandas chose Aspartame - all the other animals (apart from cats, who can't taste sweetness) chose natural sweeteners. Hey - maybe that's why pandas are an endangered species? BBC news feature

Answer to Brain Teaser
Jane really said "I'm 2A (twenty A) today. Last year I was 29 (in hexadecimal numbers) and in two years time I'll be 2C (twenty C)"
If she's 2A in hexadecimal then that makes her 42 in the 'normal' decimal system.

ALL CAPS USER AGREEMENTS - Grr!

I've just upgraded my copy of SpySweeper to version 5. Great improvement but...

Why Why Why do software firms continue to write their 'terms and conditions' in ALL CAPS?

As a teacher one of the first things we were taught in college was not to write in capital letters only. The reason? It destroys the word shape and actually makes the text harder to read. When we read we look for word shapes and recognize the word without reading individual letters. Write the document in capitals and we have to recognize words by looking at individual letters. If we find a document written in capitals only we tend to give up and not bother reading it.

SpySweeper's terms and conditions is a typical example (although they do switch to mixed case after a paragraph or so). Who writes this drivel? Do they want us not to read it? I suspect it's probably a lawyer - a group of people who seem determined to make things as difficult as possible for the rest of us. Now Webroot - Explain this to your lawyers in nice simple language so that they can get it right next time - NOBODY WANTS TO READ ANY LONG DOCUMENT IF IT'S WRITTEN IN CAPITAL LETTERS ONLY AND PEOPLE WHO WRITE TITLES IN ALL CAPS RATHER THAN USING LARGER FONTS OR BOLD TEXT ARE JUST DISPLAYING TOTAL IGNORANCE OF GOOD DESIGN. THINGS HAVE MOVED ON SINCE THE DAYS OF TYPEWRITERS AND TO STICK WITH ALL CAPS ( OR EVEN WORSE UNDERLINED ALL CAPS) IS ABOUT THE SAME AS EMPLOYING A CLERK TO PAINSTAKINGLY COPY A DOCUMENT OUT BY HAND!

Sugar and spice? - Err - Not quite

Acording to the nursary rhyme little girls are made of 'sugar and spice and all things nice' whereas little boys are made of 'slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails'. (Must have been a woman who wrote that one.) No matter how much little girls wish it the rhyme just isn't true.

So what exactly are we made of? Let's take a look at Mr Average: 38 years old, 5' 9" and weighing 79.83 Kg (179 lb)

61% of Mr Average is oxygen. It weighs 49 Kg (107lb) and as a gas it would occupy a volume of 34,000 litres (1,200 cubic feet) That's enough to keep an average person breathing for 68 days. Most of the oxygen is found in the water which makes up 55% of the bodies mass.

23% of Mr Average is carbon. It weighs 18.24 Kg (40lb). Thats about 6 bags if you want to have a BBQ.

10% of Mr Average is hydrogen. It weighs 7.98 Kg (17.6lb) and as a gas would take up 89,400 litres (3,160 cubic feet). In a balloon it would be capable of lifting 220 lb.

2.6% of Mr Average is nitrogen, mostly in the proteins of his body. It weighs 2.08 Kg (4.6lb) and would make enough fertilizer to cover 1/5th of an acre

1.4% of Mr Average is calcium. That's 1.12Kg (2.5lb). It's found in bones and teeth, is important for membrane function, nerve impulses, muscle contractions, and blood clotting. Converted to plaster it would be enough to cover 3 square feet of wall.

1.1% of Mr Average is phosphorus, 878g (1.931b). It's found in bones and teeth, nucleic acids and is important in providing you with energy. It's enough to make about 500 boxes of matches.

0.2% of Mr Average is potassium, 160g (5.6oz). It's important for proper membrane function, nerve impulses, and muscle contractions. Since potassium perchlorate is also used in making matches there's enough in Mr Average to make 160 boxes.

0.2% of Mr Average is Sulphur, 160g (5.6oz). Its found in fats, bones and proteins. there's enough sulphur in Mr Average to make the sulphuric acid for 50 car batteries.

0.14% of Mr Average is sodium, 112g (4oz). It's mostly in body fluids. Thats enough to make salt to put on about 1000 bags of fries.

0.12% of Mr Average is chlorine, 96g. (3.4oz) It's important for membrane function and water absorption. The chloride ion is the major anion in body fluids and it's essential in digesting food. There's enough to make several bottles of bleach or as pure chlorine gas it would occupy a volume of 30 litres - enough to kill Mr Average several times.

0.027% of Mr Average is magnesium, 21.6g: It's needed in enzymes, for bone formation and in using energy. Converted into antacid tablets you'd get 120.

0.006% of Mr Average is iron, almost 5g (0.1oz) It's needed in the blood to transport oxygen. There's enough in Mr Average to make a 2½ inch nail.

0.0037% of Mr Average is fluorine, 3g. Thats enough to make 660 tubes of fluoride toothpaste and again more than enough to kill Mr Average if taken all in one go.

0.0033% of Mr Average is zinc, 2.6g. It's found in enzymes. There's enough zinc in Mr Average to galvanize 74 square centimetres of steel on both sides.

0.0014% of Mr Average is silicon, 1.1g. It appears to help bones absorb calcium. That amount of silicon is found in ½ teaspoon of sand.

Rubidium and Strontium together make up about 1g of Mr Average. Rubidium seems to help the body select between sodium and potassium ions and strontium helps in the formation of bones. There's not enough of either to colour a firework.

There's about .3g of bromine (about 1 drop) in Mr Average. No-one is quite sure what it's function is.

There's about 0.1g of lead in Mr Average. In the past this was thought to be of no use and only harmful. Today a trace amount is believed to be necessary. That amount is enough to make one piece of birdshot.

Mr Average contains 0.08g of copper. Its used to make hemoglobin (in blood) and melanin (what colours your hair and suntan). That amount of copper could fit in a cube 2mm (1/13th inch) square.

There's enough aluminium in Mr Average, 0.07g, to make a piece of thick kitchen foil 7cm (2¾ inches) square. A tiny amount is needed in our bodies as a catalyst.

There's 0.06g of cadmium in Mr Average. It's found in some enzymes. Too much will kill painfully. It would take 75 Mr Averages to make just 1 AA size rechargable battery. (OK this was written in the days of NiCad rechargable batteries)

The remaining elements in Mr Average are in vanishingly small quantities. So here they are in a table.

Element	%	Weight (g)	Comment
cerium	0.000057%	0.046	Today it's used in making flat screen TVs, formally one of its main uses was in making mischmetal alloy which was used as the flint in cigarette lighters. There's enough in Mr Average to make one flint.
barium	0.000031%	0.025	Barium is an ingredient in rat poison, the mud used in oil drilling and as a milky liquid 'Barium meal' used in x-rays of the intestines, There's not enough of it in Mr Average to kill a rat.
iodine	0.000029%	0.023	Enough to make 3500 cuts sting!
tin	0.000029%	0.023	Enough to tin plate a tomato puree can
titanium	0.000029%	0.023	Titanium is a light but very strong metal, still strong at high temperatures. It's used in aircraft and jet engines. It also makes the filament in vaping tubes. There's enough in Mr Average to make several.
boron	0.000026%	0.021	,
nickel	0.000021%	0.017	You would need about 75 Mr Averages to make a US nickel
selenium	0.000021%	0.017	,
chromium	0.00002%	0.016	,
manganese	0.000017%	0.014	,
arsenic	0.00001%	0.008	,
lithium	0.00001%	0.008	,
cesium	0.0000086%	0.0068	,
mercury	0.0000086%	0.0068	About as big an amount as the head of a pin
germanium	0.0000071%	0.0057	,
molybdenum	0.0000071%	0.0057	Enough to make a small light bulb (or at least the wires that hold the filament in place)
cobalt	0.0000043%	0.0034	,
antimony	0.0000029%	0.0023	,
silver	0.0000029%	0.0023	,
niobium	0.0000021%	0.0017	,
zirconium	0.0000014%	0.0011	,
lanthanium	0.0000011%	0.00091	,
gallium	0.000001%	0.0008	,
tellurium	0.000001%	0.0008	,
yttrium	0.00000086%	0.00068	,
bismuth	0.00000071%	0.00057	,
thallium	0.00000071%	0.00057	,
indium	0.00000057%	0.00046	,
gold	0.00000029%	0.00023	Enough to make one tiny gold chain link worth 0.6¢
scandium	0.00000029%	0.00023	,
tantalum	0.00000029%	0.00023	,
vanadium	0.00000016%	0.00013	,
thorium	0.00000014%	0.00011	,
uranium	0.00000014%	0.00011	,
samarium	0.00000007%	0.000057	,
beryllium	0.00000005%	0.000041	,
tungsten	0.00000003%	0.000023	,

The Last Supper

Wow! In the month since I wrote a web page about Leonardo Da Vinci's painting 'The last supper' it's had almost a million visitors! So here it is reproduced here and you can, if you wish, leave comments.

The Last Supper
- A Study of the Painting by Leonardo Da Vinci

The Last Supper is a painting painted between 1496 to 1498 by Leonardo Da Vinci in the refectory of the Dominican convent of Santa Maria delle Grazie. The painting was made using experimental pigments directly on the dry plaster wall and unlike frescos, where the pigments are mixed with the wet plaster, it has not stood the test of time well. Even before it was finished there were problems with the paint flaking from the wall and Leonardo had to repair it. Over the years it has crumbled, been vandalized bombed and restored. Today we are probably looking at very little of the original.

There are a number of points of interest:

Was it a 'Passover' meal? The food The cups/glasses/wine The instant depicted What's that bit in the middle?

The knife John or Mary? The names of each person The grouping The time of the meal

Was it a 'Passover'?

Definitely not! The meal was set the day before 'Good Friday' - the day Jesus was crucified. The feast of the Passover began at sunset on that day so this meal was a day too early and, looking out the windows in the background, too early in the day. Also the picture shows Jesus and the disciples seated. The passover is traditionally eaten reclining. If you read your bible you will find:
Matthew 26.2 "You know that after two days the Passover is coming, and the Son of man will be delivered up to be crucified." 26.3 Then the chief priests and the elders of the people gathered in the palace of the high priest, who was called Ca'iaphas, 26.4 and took counsel together in order to arrest Jesus by stealth and kill him. 26.5 But they said, "Not during the feast, lest there be a tumult among the people."

John 13.1 Now before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to...

The food

The table shows leavened bread (yet another reason it could not be the Passover), fish, wine and some type of herb present. To me there also appears to be cheese present. There is no sign of lamb which would traditionally have been eaten at the passover.

The Cups/Glasses/Wine/Plates

There are twelve glasses shown to be present, each containing a red wine. It would be normal to drink wine with the meal - water was often contaminated. The glasses were odd however. Glass was popular with the Romans of the time but the conservative Jews would have drunk from goblets made from clay or wood. Only the wealthy would have drunk from metal goblets. The same is true of metal plates, several of which are shown. There's no pitcher or jug shown from which the glasses could have been refilled. There is a small, apparently empty, glass bottle, but this is too small to have contained the wine needed.

The instant depicted

This is supposed to be the moment when Jesus, in the words of John says "Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me". The picture shows the reaction of the disciples to this.

What's that bit centre bottom?

Around 1652, some unknown vandal decided to insert another door into the refectory and apparently decided that the only logical spot for it was smack in the middle of that wall where Leonardo had painted Christ's feet. The only evidence we have of what the original painting looked like was an oil paint copy made in the 16th centaury and now housed in Tongerlo Abbey , Antwerp



Just to complicate matters there's also a different version of the picture in a tapestry shown below:

The Knife

Due to it's poor condition there has been some argument about
the owner of the hand holding the knife (or, as some call it, - a dagger):



The theories are:

1. The hand belongs to John/Mary (whoever you choose to believe they are). Peter is holding his/her wrist. Andrew, who sees this, is horrified at this.
2. The hand belongs to a separate, obscured person, probably John, with Mary shown at the right.
3. The hand holding the knife belongs to Peter - he has it twisted backwards away from Judas

Let's look at each theory in turn:

1. Here's an image which has been doctored to remove Judas. Notice anything odd?
   
   
   
   If that knife is being held by John/Mary then he/she has arms like a gorilla! Would Leonardo have made a mistake like this? There's also the evidence of John/Mary's fingers intertwined in front of him/her!
   
   


2. This suggestion assumes that the feminine figure at the right in the image is Mary Magdalene. In that case John, the youngest of the disciples is missing. The idea is that the hand belongs to John who is obscured by Peter and
   Judas. I find this very unlikely. If it were true - where exactly would John be?
   
   Maybe he dropped his glass?

3. The last suggestion is that Peter is holding the knife at a very odd angle. The 'copies' suggest that this is the case and so too does this sketch by Leonardo - clearly that knife in the hand of Peter gave him some problems and he decided to practice.

John or Mary Magdalene?

In the fictional book 'The Da Vinci Code', Daniel Brown has his character Teabing suggest that the figure seated to Jesus' right is not the disciple John but is instead Mary Magdalene. The theory, suggested several times in the past, is that Jesus married Mary and after the crucifixion she had a child by him.
I must admit that to my eye 'John' does look very effeminate. But is that enough evidence for the figure being Mary? We need to consider the following:

• Would the Church of the time have allowed this?
• It was 'normal' at the time for a young man, and John was the youngest of the disciples, to be portrayed
  as effeminate. Not only Leonardo did this.
• Leonardo is suspected to have been a homosexual.
• If 'John' is 'Mary' then where is John? Hiding under the table?
• Is that a necklace around 'John's' neck? If so - whatever happened to 'go, sell what you possess and give to the poor'. However no fewer than six others in the painting have a similar item, possibly a garment fastener.
• In 'The Da Vinci Code' Teabing refers to 'delicate folded hands, and the hint of a bosom'. Sorry - I don't see either! John's hands don't look feminine and to see a 'bosom' you need a great deal of imagination.

By far the simplest explanation is that Leonardo portrayed a young and beardless John as effeminate. The Church of the time appeared quite happy to accept this as such.

Who is where in the picture?

The evidence for this comes from a contemporary document discovered in 1800 which gives the names of each person in the picture.

The grouping

Looking across the picture from left to right the disciples are shown in four groups of three:

• Bartholomew, James Minor and Andrew form a group of three. All are horrified, Andrew to the point of holding his hands up in a "let's calm down " gesture.


• Judas, Peter and John form the next group of three. Judas has his face in shadow and
  is clutching a small bag, presumably money. He was quite often portrayed with this in last supper paintings. He is also reaching for bread at the same time as Jesus is. Peter, in the fashion of the time, is shown clutching a knife and, with his hand on John's shoulder, is asking a feminine-looking John "Who does he say it is?". John leans toward him to hear what he says creating a V shape between himself and Jesus which has been interpreted by some as an indication of a marriage between 'Mary' and Jesus.


• Christ is very much the calm person alone in the midst of the debate.


• Thomas, James the Elder and Philip are next. 'Doubting' Thomas is pointing upward, maybe asking for one shred of evidence that this is so. His other hand is on the table between James and Philip as though seeking something solid. James the Elder looks stunned and seems to be watching Jesus' left hand. Philip seems to be asking 'Is it me?'.


• Matthew, Thaddeus and Simon comprise the last group of three figures. Matthew and Thaddeus seem to be asking Simon about Jesus' statement.

The time

It was supposed to take place in the evening - after the sun had set. Leonardo however, shows the outside in the three windows as being sunlit. He also shows a third light source, apparently from the front left - exactly where the windows and door are in the building. It seems he was trying to create the illusion of a bigger building and suspected it would be used mostly during the day.

Incidentally did you know that there are over 400,000 pages refering to this painting of which 50,000 also refer to Daniel Brown's book 'The Da Vinci Code'? 1750 entries also refer to an earlier book 'The Templar Revelation: Secret Guardians of the True Identity of Christ'
by written by Lynn Picknett and Clive Prince in 1997. 750 refer to an even earlier book Holy Blood, Holy Grail by Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh and Henry Lincoln (Even Daniel Brown refers to this book within his story and the character 'Leigh Teabing' seems to be a combination of 'Richard Leigh' and an anagram of 'Baigent')

About Commenting

I've rejected a number of comments from people for or against religion. This isn't the place for that. it's about the painting and the various theories which have arisen from it.

AntiPhishing in Internet Explorer Beta 2 - Grrr!

A little while ago I installed a copy of Internet Explorer 7 Beta 2 and ever since I've been getting reports from SpySweeper that my computer has a possible rootkit.

It seems that Microsoft, in it's wisdom, has decided that us lesser mortals will be confused by the presence of a new folder in our temporary Internet files so decided to hide it. Not content with making it 'hidden' or a 'protected system' file, they created a new file type normally not visible to users in the same way as rootkits hide their files. SpySweeper, one of the programs I use to get rid of malware found it and told me the pathname. Knowing this I can enter it into a folder address bar and display the contents - it's:
C:\Documents and Settings\[username]\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files\AntiPhishing (Where [username] is what you log on as)

The hidden folder appears to contain a single file (yes - I suppose they could have more hidden files in there). Investigating this file, it appears to contain the URL to which IE7 refers web addresses to check if they are genuine. You can't navigate to this folder the 'normal' way and deleting it is not possible the normal way either.

Now I think a browser that checks to see if that 'Barclays bank' link is genuine is a great idea. But super hiding the AntiPhishing folder is an idea that sucks! I want - no demand - to be able to investigate EVERY file on my computer. Someone who 'hides' a file makes me very suspicious. What if someone makes use of that hidden folder to 'hide' their malware?

Wonder what else Microsoft has hidden?

As to the rest of IE7? Nice one MS. Apart from that hidden folder - I like it.