Thursday, September 17, 2009

Advice to spammers and scammers

No - I'm not going to tell you to see if you can head butt a 5 ton truck travelling at 70mph; (well you can if you want); this blog is about spams and scams which won't work on me!

  1. - I turn on the 'To' field in my e-mail program so that I can see who the e-mail is being sent to. I won't read or even bother looking at the subject of any e-mail which:

    • does not have a completed 'to' field
    • is apparently sent from my e-mail address to me
    • is sent to an e-mail address I do not recognise
    • is sent to any of my 'spam trap' e-mail addresses (for information dummy they are all anagrams of 'you are a fool' e.g. louafeaoroy@...)
    • is sent to 'undisclosed recipients'

  2. I examine the 'From' field and don't bother with:
    • any e-mail with a blank 'from' field
    • from anyone with an e-mail address with a random combination of letters e.g. I will accept as possibly genuine david4387@... but not jwp5tzphw@...
    • anyone with pharmacy, casino or a drug name or company in the e-mail address

  3. After all of the above are automatically permanently deleted by my e-mail filters they then examine the subject field:
    • No subject - deleted unless the sender is on my contact list
    • If the subject is 'Hi', 'Hello', 'Urgent', 'ATTENTION!' or any other meaningless phrase - deleted unless the sender is in my contact list.
    • I get offended by swearwords and vulgarity so my filters will permanently delete any e-mails which contain either. I will never see them
    • there are keywords my filters look for. If these are found in a subject then the e-mail is permanently deleted unless the sender is in my contact list. I will never see e-mails about fake watches, drugs, dieting, banks I don't belong to, parcel services I don't use, lotteries, corporate offers or anything mentioning 'girlfriend', 'sweetheart', 'her', 'super' etc.
    • If your spam refers to any body part in any way I won't ever see it unless you are on my contact list.

  4. I will look at the subjects of what is left:

    • if it's not in my language - I delete it
    • if the subject contains words which contain spaces - V I A G R A or numbers/symbols replacing letters - Cia1;s then you know I don't want to receive it so why bother sending it?
    • I will NEVER follow a link in an e-mail from a bank
    • While the tax authorities may owe me money I know they never contact people by e-mail to tell them about it. Neither do they e-mail messages to say you owe money, and they certainly don't have a domain such as hmrc.gov.uk.tv
    • Only a fool would buy a watch from a spammer without being able to see it - it's merely a good way to receive nothing and lose your credit card details - so I won't read it.
    • The same is true for drugs or anything taken by mouth
    • No matter how embarrassed a person is they would have to be a complete moron to trust any part of their anatomy to a surgeon promoted by spam. Good candidates for Darwin awards.
    • Someone I don't know sends me details of a stock which is going to make my fortune? Yeah. Right - of course I believe it and will invest heavily
    • Someone offers me a job working for 'just a few hours each day' - bin it
    • Is there really anyone left on Internet who will fall for the Nigerian style money transfer scam? No I'm not going to give any stranger, no matter what he/she promises, my bank details and then wire funds which haven't cleared anywhere.
    • Begging letters? No - I'm too mean to respond to genuine ones and too wise to fall for the sob stories
    • Online casino promoted by spam? Of course I believe they will pay out and not steal my credit card details if I'm daft enough to bet any of my own money - deleted!


  5. Now what about the rest?
    • If a subject seems genuine my e-mail filters will still scan the content and delete any which contain content which had it appeared in the subject line, would have been deleted
    • If something seems too good to be true I naturally suspect it isn't and delete it
    • If the content is a graphic attachment only - deleted
    • If the content contains a 'nasty' - My anti-malware program will get rid of it
    • If the content contains lots of downloadable graphics, my e-mail program won't download them - and neither will I

  6. I will open the rest of my e-mail BUT if I find a content unrelated to the subject I will:
    • add the sender to spam blacklists
    • complain to the ISP of the sender about spam and I will use the IP address of the sender, not the forged e-mail address. If that means complaining about someone who has unwittingly become part of a botnet - tough. Tearn to protect your computer with anti-malware software and stop inflicting pain on the rest of us.
    • add the domain of any web host who fails to respond to my complaint about spam to blacklists
    • complain to the web host of any URL promoted about the site being promoted by spam

    • If you use a spambot to search my website for e-mail addresses it will find LOADS of totally useless e-mail addresses, links to spam blacklists and a very useful link to a site called WPOISON which will provide more useless dummy e-mail addresses to fill up your spam lists.


As you can see I have a thing about spam so my final bit of advise is:

Don't send it to me!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Maybe NPower does listen - eventually!

If you've followed this blog you might have seen my post 'NPower doesn't listen' in which I related the tale of how Npower had been sending me bills for someone else since April 2008. I had returned bills marked 'Not known at this address' only to have them come straight back to me. I phoned them many times but still the bills kept coming.

Things came to a head when I got 'Disconnection Notices' which threatened to break in, disconnect me for a bill I didn't own and then lock me out of my own house by replacing the locks making me travel 60 miles and pay £150 to collect keys.

More phone calls, letters and complaints to NPower's Retail CEO had no effect. The bills kept coming and when I accidentally opened one in June 2009 I found they had risen to £1,476.86.

When NPower reduced my monthly direct debit payments, despite my objections, causing me to go £400 in debit on my real electricity account that was enough for me and I switched electricity suppliers to EDF and wrote a note to NPower explaining my reasons for doing so.

Finally, too late for them, Npower got their act in gear and wrote to me apologising and telling me they had finally corrected the address of the unfortunate individual with the £1,476.86 bill and I would no longer be sent his letters. As compensation for my trouble, today a £100.00 cheque arrived! They also knocked £100 off the final bill I got (Now £600).

Now I wonder how they plan to treat the other NPower customer - the one who's had free electricity for 18 months and now finds himself with a huge bill?

Friday, July 03, 2009

Totally forgettable restaurants

There are lots of good restaurants out there and some which have even poisoned their clients but I've also come across some where the food didn't poison me but was totally flavourless and the service lacking. So this is my list of restaurants which are totally unremarkable and which I won't be going back to unless I'm really hungry and don't have the means to go elsewhere. Of course these are just my opinion, you might like it there.

Please feel free to add your own ideas for totally forgettable places to eat.

Orleans Thurrock - A restaurant which looks like a paddle steamer. We went there because my wife is from Louisiana and wanted some catfish. Not quite sure how they managed to make what is normally a delicious dish taste - well of nothing!

The Chattery, Freeman Hospital, Newcastle - We had chicken pie which somewhere had lost all flavour. They obviously haven't heard of using any kind of herb or spice and the chicken? Was it boiled for 10 hours before being put in the pie? Their apple crumble was flavourless too. Next time they do it I suggest they use cooking apples, cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla in the custard

The Honeypot Keswick - So slow and boring - enough said.

Sainsburys Thurrock - Tasteless and overcooked food. Could be cleaner too.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Whae nettled the teacher?

My father met Dick Phillipson in a pub and persuaded him to help us out on our small hill farm. He was already in his 60s but he had a tractor and we didn't. Over the years he was a regular visitor and I learnt a lot about hill farming from him.

Dick seemed to have lead an interesting life, a local historian's dream since he had been one of the last of the lead miners working in the Cumbria and Northumberland lead mines. He was the only person I knew who habitually wore wooden clogs rather than the all pervasive wellie. At lunchtime we would retire inside our ancient farmhouse (It's now a Buddhist monastery) and Dick was always good for a story.

    When I was a lad and gannin ter school I wer alus in trouble and often used ter get the belt or the cane from the teacher. I think I got it most days and was quite used ter it. There was one day he give it to me real bad though an it hurt fer once so I decided ter get me own back.

    At playtime the teacher used ter alus gan ter the nettie. We didn't have these flush toilets, ours wer the ald earth closets, like the one ye have here. Well I waited until I heared him gruntin then quietly moved the stone away and tickled his arse wi' a geet bunch of nettles and ran. I remember ter this day the yell he lit oot!

    I would ha got away wi' it but yin of the girls saw me and teld him whae nettled him. He laid into me real bad that time an said he would speak ter me father.

    Aal the way home I was afeard aboot that an when I saw him drivin past with a geet smirk on his face I knew he had done it. I was alus more afeard of whit me dad would dee than of the teacher's cane. I divn't think I ever took longer te get home than I did that day.

    When I got in the yard me dad was waitin of me wi his belt in his hand. "Dick" he yells "Git theeself in here sharpish"

    I was afeered I were really for it but when I got in he jest said "Now then lad. Whae nettled the teachers arse then?" and burst out laughing.


Of course that gave me the idea and my elder sister became the nettle's next victim while I became the only 9 year old at school with a bald patch - but that's another story.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What a Con!+

Con 1 - The BNP Doctor


It's election time for the EEC parliament and today I got a mailshot promoting the British National Party. On it there's a picture of a doctor with the following quite next to it:
    "I'm voting BNP because I see what immigration has done to the NHS. As a Doctor I want to see an end to 'health tourists' and to make sure British nurses are employed and paid fairly."

"I'm sure Ive seen that doctor before," I thought and looked up 'doctor' in Google Images. Sure enough there he was as the second picture found. Now it's just vaguely possible that this doctor in the picture supports the BNP but if so why is he also a member of the New Hampshire Prostate Cancer Coalition on the other side of the Atlantic?

The BNP have used a stock image from iStockphoto.com on their leaflet. The cynic in me believes they probably couldn't find a doctor willing to make such a stupid quote since the UK National Health Service would collapse if it were not for all the immigrant doctors and nurses it employs. If they could find a doctor to support them then I could understand his/her reluctance to allow their picture to be used on a BNP promotion - it would be career suicide!

Now maybe it's naive of me to expect honesty and openness from a politician but this sort of thing on a leaflet isn't likely to get my vote. One last word of advice for the BNP - learn the rules of grammar regarding capitalisation of words such as 'Doctor'. It's not a name or in this case a title or sentence beginning.

Con 2 - Sky Satellite Box 'Protection' deal


Every couple of weeks I get a phone call or mailshot from Sky telling me that the Sky satellite box I have is now out of warranty and that I can take out a protection plan for just £6.45 per month or £77.50 per year. A good deal? Maybe not!

In the UK we have a little thing called 'The sale & Supply of Goods to Consumers Regulations 2002' which states we have the right to choose repair, replacement, partial or full refund, or compensation if a fault appears within 6 years (5 years+ in Scotland)and it is reasonable for goods to last that long. That 1 year warranty that 'has expired' has no legal standing! I find a Sky box will fail in it's first 2-3 months or will just keep on working.

Of course the Sky Protection policy does cover your box against accidental damage - but doesn't household contents insurance cover that too? All in all, Sky just seem to want us to pay an extra £77.50 for nothing at all and that makes it Con 2 in my list.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

How to get your web pages noticed

Many brilliant web pages go unnoticed because search engines simply have not 'discovered them' or your page is listed hopelessly far down the search results. So what can you do about it? Here's my recommendations.

First the content - Obviously it has to be something other people want to read! Once you've produced it however; rather than a huge single page you need to break your content down into at least 4 pages produced using a template so that they have a similar appearance and common links to each other. Promote each page as follows:
  • Make sure each page has a suitable descriptive title which a user might search for - NOT 'Home page', 'Welcome' or the like. For example in my tutorial about creating a Java animated waterfall I produced pages titled 'Creating a Java animated Waterfall (Lake Applet)', 'Getting waterfall speed and source image right', 'Putting the Java Waterfall together' and 'A Java Animated Waterfall'
  • Give each page headings and sub headings using the <h1>,<h2> or <h3> tags. If the <h1> tag isn't the correct style for your page remember you can change it locally using CSS.
    (e.g. instead of using <h1>[Your Page Title]</h1> you can use <h1 style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:28px">[Your Page Title]</h1>
  • Meta tags, in the header of your page, are not as important as they used to be but are still worth adding.
    You need a <meta name="description" content="[Put a short description of the page here]"> Make sure the description includes any keywords a user might search for.
    You need a <meta name="keywords" content="[Put a comma separated list of keywords on the page here]"> Make sure your page mentions each keyword used at least twice. More is better but avoid meaningless repetition which might get your pages blocked!
  • Install Google Analytics on your site. http://www.google.com/analytics/
  • Create and submit an xml sitemap to Google Webmaster Central. There's a shareware download available for a program which will do this all for you - 'A1 Sitemap generator' at http://www.microsystools.com/products/sitemap-generator/. Use it to generate an xml sitemap and “robots.txt” file. Upload these and 'ping' Google and other search engines to tell them about it. You can use A1 Sitemap Generator free for 30 days without restrictions. ($49 if you wish to continue using it)
  • Link to the site from any other websites you own.
  • Get someone to visit the site and tag it with Stumble Upon / Digg and other such social bookmarking sites. Since this will probably be a 'new discovery' they should add a comment on it. If you can't get a friend to do this then visit it yourself - preferably NOT from your own computer - try one at a local library.
  • Find a forum relevant to your site and post there, put the URL in a link. Submit the page to Stumble Upon / Digg etc.
  • Set up an account with Blogspot (owned by Google). Make a post about your site's content and include a link to your site. Yes - you're right - I just did it and here's another link to a free genealogy HTML pedigree template page I produced also.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Electric Blanket Safety - Morphy Richards Winterwarm


I'm making this post because of a disturbing safety issue which I feel there should be a record on the Web about. It could have killed us!

A few days ago, just after the alarm went off to wake us up, my wife leapt up in bed, pulled the sheet off the mattress and frantically reached for the power switch to switch off our double size, Morphy Richards Winterwarm electric underblanket. At the same time there was the unmistakable smell of burning.

She'd turned over in bed and seen a red glow through the sheet and heard sizzling.

Here's what we found on turning over the blanket corner:

This electric blanket has a removable plug which allows the blanket to be washed. Just where the cable enters the plug it had burnt through and was busy burning a hole in the blanket itself and, given time, would have set fire to the sheet and mattress.

I did a little research and discovered in the UK alone in 2008 there were 1,000 housefires attributed to faulty electric blankets. 20 people were killed and 250 were injured. Checking further revealed that 99% of these fires were caused by blankets over ten years old.

This electric blanket was just 9 months old! It had never been washed, had not been moved and the cable was in a position where it was not subject to any movement or stress. The fuse fitted to the blanket did not burn out.

I notified the manufacturer of the problem - and got an apparently 'concerned' reply but which ended 'We regret that we are unable to be of any further assistance with your enquiry and assure you of our best attention at all times.'

Argos, the supplier took my concern more seriously. They sent it away for tests and invited me to claim compensation for any damage caused.

In this case we were lucky, apart from a tiny scorch mark to mattress and sheet there was no injury or damage. We were awake when it happened; but what would have happened if it had failed at 3:00am when we were fast asleep? This has shaken my confidence in electric blankets and no matter what Morphy Richards say - I won't sleep with one switched on again.

Postscript
In all fairness to Morphy Richards I have to report that they contacted me again after apparently reading this blog. It seems that the Winterwarm range is exclusively supplied through Argos on the understanding that Argos deal with all following consumer contact. This was not made clear in Morphy Richards first e-mail. Morphy Richards are now apparently trying to locate the blanket for detailed assessment.
I bought two of these blankets though and as far as the second one is concerned - I can detect no sign of the same problem but have warned my son not to leave it on at night.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Danone - Should it be Damn One?

You must have seen the adverts for Danone products Activia Yogurt.

We buy the fig and date versions and decided to try the peach and vanilla versions also. What we didn't notice was the small text on the wrapper saying 'fat free yogurt with fruit, sugar and sweeteners'

Sweeteners in a so called 'healthy' product? Getting out a magnifying glass to read the 4 point text on the carton I checked to see just what sweetener was being used. In the Peach I found Aspartame and Acesulfame.

Now the Acesulfame is bad enough - it's only suspected of having 'significant doubt' as to its safety but what sort of idiot manufacturing a 'healthy food' includes Aspartame? There are an unbelievable number of complaints that this stuff is suspected of (See http://www.jaydax.co.uk/imho/aspartame.htm)

Now if Damnone (oops sorry - Danone) can make such a blunder what about their other claims?

'Did you know 56% of healthy women report that they experience digestive discomfort from time to time?' - What an astonishing statistic. I wonder where they got it from. I suspect probably out of the air since I'm pretty certain that 100% of people - male or female, would admit to having digestive discomfort at some time in their life.

'Contains the unique live culture BIFIDUS ACTIREGULARIS®' - Now just what does that mean? First 'unique' is defined as being 'the only one of its kind'. Danone - I've news for you - it's a bacteria and there are billions of them! Maybe Danone have a unique strain of this bacteria? Nope - it seems to be Bifidobacterium animalis subsp. animalis, strain DN-173 010 That's a bacteria commonly found in animal bowels and by no means unique. Danone have given it a new (and unofficial) name, BIFIDUS ACTIREGULARIS® and trade marked it. Hey - what a brilliant idea. If we all do that no one will know that this common bacteria is in no way special.

'82% of people with digestive discomfort said they felt better after eating ACTIVIA' - Err - How long after? Would they have felt better after a few hours anyway? Did they attribute feeling better to eating ACTIVIA - you didn't say!

'It tastes fantastic too' - Nope - it used to taste OK but you ruined it by putting artificial sweeteners in, giving it a lingering after taste.

So why did they add this rubbish? Maybe it's one of these reasons:
  • Artificial sweeteners are cheaper than sugar so you can make more profit. In fact Aspartame seems to work out as being 1/2000th the cost of the sugar required for equal sweetness
  • You can claim it's less fattening.
  • Less sugar means less tooth decay (We'll just choose to ignore the tooth eating acid in the yogurt and fruit)
  • This paticular sweetner has a reputation of producing a craving for more. That means that instead of eating one pot you might eat two. That of course would increase the product's sales. Danone wouldn't do that... would they?

Guess what? Danone just lost another customer for this product.

Postscript


Now for the positive side of Danone's yoghurt. In December my family adopted a kitten found abandoned on a farm. He was such a sweet thing and so friendly we couldn't understand why anyone would abandon him at about 7 weeks old. When we got him home we discovered his awful secret. To put it bluntly his farts smelt awful and he did lots of them!

We wormed him and gave him a kitten diet of 'Science Plan'. No improvement. Then I had an idea and gave him about a teaspoon of Danone 'Bifidus Actiregularis®' yoghurt. Displaying a good deal more sense than many humans he wouldn't touch the Aspartame sweetened version but really enjoyed the other versions. His smelly farts quickly disappeared.

So if you have a problem with smelly farts from your pet (or maybe yourself) just add Danone yoghurt to your diet for a while.

Friday, March 13, 2009

BT's Important Messages

A couple of days ago I got a letter from BT marked 'Important documents inside - Not a circular.'
"Must be a bill" I thought and opened it. Sure enough it was a bill from BT Mobile. I looked at the amount due - £0.00
"Wow - that is important" I thought "Better send them a cheque and ask for a receipt."
Just as I was about to write a cheque for 'Zero pounds and no pence,' I saw the bit at the bottom which told me I need take no action since the amount would be collected by direct debit. What a shame - I was really looking forward to getting that receipt.

I didn't think BT could top that 'Important letter' but today I got another one!
This time the 'Important documents inside' told me that I need do nothing to continue to have unlimited evening and weekend calls at no extra cost BUT if I was not happy with this I could cancel the offer by calling 0800 345 7309 and then pay at the normal price of £2.65 per month for my unlimited evening and weekend calls.

Huh! I bet that number gets inundated with people calling to pay extra for those free calls!

Well Mr Nigel Stagg, Managing Director of BT's Customer Service, I bet you win the prize for the year's most pointless letter - Unless my readers out there know of a worse 'Important documents inside' letter.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Aaagh! Spam!

Just 27 minutes into 2009 I got sent my first spam e-mail of the year - from someone signing herself as Beverly and who suggested I go to her website for 'all kinds of medicines'.
It was quickly followed by more and by the end of the day I had 131 spam e-mails in my 'Junk' folder. Now that's a record! Not because of what you think - it's a record because that was the fewest spam e-mails I've had for a very long time! On average I get just under 500 spam e-mails a day.

Now at this point I have to point out that my e-mail filters will automatically delete any message which comes from someone I don't know and which contains certain words such as Viagra, tobacco, degree, bank, 'you have won', or which claim to have been sent from me to myself. The spam mail I'm talking about slipped through the filters.

Looking back at the January 1st spams I find:
40 spams offering me medications - mostly Viagra or slimming pills
29 offering to enlarge my penis
22 offering to sell me a (mostly fake) watch
14 offering me a (fake) degree or diploma
6 offering software
5 inviting me to gamble
4 invitations to online dating services
2 messages attempting to get me to check my password details at a bank account
1 each of messages offering clothes, mobile phone games and fake jobs
1 lottery winner prize
1 invitation to sponsor the next international tennis match
1 botnet test
1 offer to increase my breast size (and it was addressed to 'John'!)
and a spam from Sony about Playstation games (I distinctly remember un-ticking that box 'Do you want to receive...')

Now let's take a closer look at these:

First there must be a great many STUPID people out there on Internet! Now I know from my own experience that there are really two species of 'man' on this planet. Homo Sapiens (That's Latin for thinking or wise man) and just 'Homo'; but really! You have to be a total moron to believe that you can get a better deal buying prescription medicines from a spammer than through your doctor and a pharmacy. Haven't the people who fall for this heard of fake, dangerous drugs and credit card fraud?

How about the 'penile enlargement' ones? Would you honestly trust your member to a doctor promoted by spam? How about trusting it to someone who is not a doctor? Get real folks and for your information after a great deal of research I can tell you that the average size of a fully erect penis is 5¼ inches.(about 40% are now saying 'Phew'; 20% are going for a tape measure; 5% are thinking 'I'm deformed' and those suffering from a diphallic condition - go look it up - are wondering 'which one').

How about those watches? Yeah right - you expect to buy a Rolex for $5.00 or a Cartier for $6.00. IT'S FAKE! Not only that but it looks fake! If you want one - buy it at your local street market where you can see what you are buying and... offer less. It often works (which is more than can be guaranteed by the one you buy through spam).

Fake degrees. Do they actually work? Is any employer really daft enough to employ someone on the basis of a certificate from a university they have never heard about? If you really want a fancy bit of paper - design and print it yourself - that's even cheaper.

How about that software? If you want a full copy of MS Office for $12 and expect to buy it on-line I've got news for you - It's a pirate! If you're going to get a pirate copy of software you might as well go the full hog and get it free from Internet instead. If piracy worries you - it should - then get Open Office from www.openoffice.org which is MS Office compatible and free!

Dating sites? There are lots of chat sites on the net which are free, so why bother to pay for the ones that are not free?

Gambling? You really want to trust a site promoted by spam with your credit card numbers? You really think you will honestly win?

As for anyone who falls for the bank phishing scams - well someone so stupid does not deserve to have money! Just remember - Banks NEVER ask you to check your details online. They ALLWAYS suggest you type in their URL rather than follow a link and GOOD up-to-date browsers will warn you if that link is bogus.

Mr 'buy my games/ringtones' obviously hopes you are not aware of all the free games available or the free software (audacity) which allows you to make your own ringtones. He hopes you'll give him that crucial credit card number so he can take regular small amounts from it before you remember to cancel it or even worse - educate you about identity theft the hard way.

As for the rest - I buy my clothes where I can try them on; have lost faith in the $200 for 3 hours work a week; don't mind if the guy who tells me to claim my lottery win keeps it himself; find tennis boring and definitely don't want bigger breasts!

I'm not going to fall for any of these but it just takes one in a million to buy from a spammer to make it worth his/her while and as a result I get about 175,000 spam e-mails in my inbox each year. Now at say half a second to check each that means I spend a full day of my time deleting the stuff each year. Since I value my time as wasted if I don't make £27 per hour that means spam is currently costing me £648 per year! I OBJECT!

The first spam e-mail was sent on 2nd May 1978 by a guy called Gary Thuerk working for DEC. It was sent to 393 users of Arpanet (the forerunner of Internet). Since then spam has grown a little. more than 90% of all e-mail traffic is spam! It uses our bandwidth, slowing down our connection and costs us all money.

Now as of June 2008 there were 1.46 billion Internet users in the world and if just one in a thousand has the same level of spam and charges a tenth of my price for their time then that means spammers are stealing £94,000,000 ($138,000,000 US) from us per year! This is a MAJOR crime!

So what happens when a spammer is caught? Well here in the UK you could be fined £5,000 but the greatest fine so far has been nowhere near that!

Now what sort of punishment would be sensible for stealing £94 million and annoying 1.46 billion people? How about we bring back hanging for it?

Friday, November 14, 2008

NPower doesn't listen!


(Addresses and names have been changed to protect NPower's victims)

When I moved in April 2008 I kept the existing electricity supply - even though I knew it wasn't the cheapest in my area. NPower. I arranged to pay bills monthly by direct debit. After a while I got my first bill and also a bill for a Mr D Maylor with the same address. Mine was in credit since the amount I paid monthly was more than I needed to pay. I returned Mr Maylor's bill marked 'Not known at this address'.
A couple of days later Mr Maylor's bill was sent back to me. I went to my neighbours to see if they knew the Maylors - they had never heard of them.

I sent the bill back again; an inconvenience since there isn't a postbox within 2 miles of my house.

Then the 'Red' bill came for Mr Maylor. I rang NPower and told them he didn't live at my address. It was at this point that I noticed they had my address down as Trackside House rather than Trackside Cottage and that Mr Maylor's bill was addressed to Trackside Cottage. I asked them to correct this.

Three months later I got a new set of bills from NPower for Mr Maylor. Again I returned them and promptly had them sent back to me rather than to NPower.
This time I opened them and discovered Mr Maylor hadn't been paying his bill - not surprising since they had been sending it to me - and owed over £200. Again I rang NPower and explained yet again that Mr Maylor didn't live at my address and that I was paying my own bill and had no intention of paying someone else's.

'Could you tell me the meter number on your meter' the guy at Customer Services said? I got the stepladders and read off the number on the meter. It wasn't the same as on Mr Maylor's bill and, surprise surprise, it was the number of the meter on my bill.

'I don't understand it' the guy said. 'We've been sending bills to Mr Maylor at that address for the last eight years and they have always been paid!'

'Well it isn't going to be paid by me' I said, 'and I'd thank you to get the correct address on these bills so that they don't come to me in future.' I also told him that there were eight houses which shared my postcode and only mine had the name Trackside Cottage and there was no Trackside House.

The phone call took 25 minutes and then I was assured everything would be sorted out.

Today, two months later two more letters were delivered to Mr Maylor at my address. I was about to throw them away but then I noticed the large orange sticker which said:
DISCONNECTION NOTICE GAS/ELECTRICITY
The occupier of this property must act on the contents of this envelope
METERPLUS

I opened the letter and found that Mr Maylor had still not paid his bill and was being warned that NPower was going to disconnect him if he didn't pay immediately.

I opened the second large brown envelope and discovered inside yet another envelope with large disconnection sticker. Opening this I found this:

We called again today to try and resolve the unpaid account, (strange - nobody had rung the doorbell and I hadn't gone out), but were unable to contact you.
IT IS NOW OUR INTENTION TO APPLY FOR A WARRANT OF ENTRY TO THE MAGISTRATE'S COURT

The letter went on to explain that if I wasn't in they would break in, disconnect the meter, then if necessary secure the house by replacing locks. I could then collect the new keys from their team valley office - just 30 miles away. I would be liable for all costs which could be £150 or more

'Wonderful' I thought. 'NPower is going to break in, disconnect me for a bill I don't own and then lock me out of my own house making me travel 60 miles to collect keys'. I got back on the phone.

25 minutes later I was assured that everything would be sorted out. Time to get in a stock of candles I think.

16th Jan 2009 - Two months later and NPower is still getting it wrong!

Today I received yet another letter from NPower. I didn't read the address on it before I opened it and as a result I now know that The Maylor's are getting very concerned about their account. Apparently they contacted the customer complaints department to find out why they have not been getting bills. They wrote back to the Maylors - at my address saying that they were still working on the problem but they had promised it would be sorted out today and they need do nothing.

Bad news NPower - you're WRONG!

12 June 2009 - NPower sends me the Maylors new bill for £1476.86
The bill arrived addressed to Trackside House with my postcode.
They STILL don't live at my address!
This time I'm notifying NPower's retail CEO, Kevin Miles and drawing the attention of the Times newspaper to this blog.

17 June 2009 - Sucess?
It took a bit of experimentation to find Kevin Miles e-mail address (its kevindotmilesatnpowerdotcom) but finally I got some sort of action from NPower. They sent a guy round to check the meter and find out it's number and to ask my postcode. Maybe that's the end of the story?

19 June 2009 - Maybe not!
NPower sent another guy out to check the meter

17 August 2009 - Definately not!
Since I last updated NPower have sent two more letters to Mr Maylor at my address. Both were returned unopened and suitably marked 'Not known at this address' but it's inconvenient for me to do so since the nearest post box is three miles from my address.

OK That's it for NPower got ditched in favour of EDF Energy effective from 15th Aug and today I posted up to NPower's site the following:
'Npower has consistently, over the last 17 months, sent bills to my address for a Mr & Mrs D Maylor. These bills have been returned to you, and you have been advised on numerous occasions that Mr Maylor has never lived at my address. Despite that, you continue to send bills and even a threat of disconnection to my address and even a complaint to Mr Kevin Miles, Npower's retail CEO, has not stopped them. The meter number on Mr Maylor's bills is not my meter number. His account number is not my account number. This has been checked by your meter reading services, twice.

I will no longer return or respond to correspondence sent to Mr D Maylor, addressed to Trackside House, Hexham, NE46 XXX.
I live three miles away from the nearest post box. It is inconvenient for me to return these. All future letters to Mr Maylor will be destroyed. You should note there is no such address as Trackside House at my postcode. Consulting my neighbours who have lived in the area for many years, they have never heard of Mr D Maylor.'

I also cancelled my direct debit to NPower at my banks website and notified NPower of this and my other reasons for ditching them in favour of EDF. Just to add one final touch of annoyance I discovered that if you take too long using the form at NPower's 'Contact Customer Services' page it logs you out, blanks the form and you get to start again! Now there's an original way of annoying your customers!

Of course I've changed the name of those unfortunate people who haven't been getting their bills and the address but NPower - you know who they are and this is my proof that you've NOT being doing your bit. Since I'm now going to ignore all your letters to the Maylors your next step should be to try and take them to court using my address at which point I will enjoy appearing at the court to tell them just how C*!p you are.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The last sound

Is the world going to end with a bang - or with a whimper? What about that bit in Revelations - The last trump?

The one thing we can assume is that the world will one day 'end' - even if that means waiting around for a few billion years until the sun expands to a red giant and swallows up the earth. But what do people mean when they speak of 'the end of the world'? Let's take a look at some doomsday scenarios.


  • Impact events - The impact of a big enough asteroid or comet could create giant tsunamis, global fires, and cause a global winter from the dust it puts in the atmosphere. There is strong evidence that such an impact has occurred several times in the history of the Earth. It is highly probable that such an event was the cause of the extinction of the dinosaurs. The chances are that we would receive little or no warning of such an event. (Sorry Armageddon fans - it just wouldn't be noticed in time for Bruce Willis to go and blow it up). Definitely a 'Bang' scenario.


  • Volcanism - Throughout the history of the Earth there have been huge 'supervolcano' volcanic eruptions which involve the outflow of millions of cubic kilometers of ejecta in a short period of time. By comparison the biggest volcanic explosions recorded by history are tiny. The dust and gasses would poison the atmosphere and oceans and bring on a global winter in a way that may cause extinctions. This cause has been proposed for the End Cretaceous, End Permian, End Triassic, and End Jurassic extinctions. There are supervolcanos at Yellowstone in the USA, Indonesia and New Zealand. Definitely a 'Bang' scenario.


  • Nuclear war - Apart from the destruction and radiation, a global nuclear war could throw sufficient dust into the atmosphere to cause a nuclear winter which would prevent crops growing for up to two years and bring about mass starvation. Definitely a 'Bang' scenario.


  • Climate change - Rapid changes of climate may be capable of stressing the environment to the point of causing mass extinction. Such a scenario is suggested in the film 'The day after tomorrow'. Whilst such a scenario would greatly inconvenience us, causing mass starvation and making some species to become extinct, ice ages in the past seem to have had little effect on bio-diversity. Extinctions suggested to have this cause include: End Ordovician, End Permian, Late Devonian, and others. This one would be a shivering whimper


  • Gamma ray burst - A nearby gamma ray burst caused by a supernova within 6000 light years distance could cause enough radiation on the surface of the Earth to kill most of the larger animals living there and destroy the ozone layer in the process. Insects would probably survive. Astronomers tell us approximately 1 gamma ray burst can be expected every 540 million years. This has been suggested as an explanation for the End Ordovician extinction event. A whimper scenario with a spectacular display in the sky.


  • A new disease. It's possible that a new disease could develop, either by natural means or by genetic manipulation. Humanity would have little or no resistance to it and only isolated communities would survive. There have been several natural pandemics in the past but none of them came close to wiping out humanity. They did have a dramatic effect on civilization however. The black death killed from 20 to 80% of the population of towns, 33% overall of the worlds population. Labour became in short supply and it caused the end of the feudal system. A whimper scenario.


  • Simulation shutdown. I'm sure you've seen the 'Matrix' films. Science fiction huh? Well maybe not! It's possible that we are living in a simulation. Consider the way in which computers have advanced. It won't be too long before they advance to the point where it would be possible to create a society in simulation (Sims 2 game?). Given a sufficiently advanced technology it would be possible to simulate an entire world in incredible complexity. Think that's unlikely? We could in fact be in such a simulation and not know it. If that were the case then it would be possible for the simulation to be shut down. There's not a lot we could do about it. One second we are 'alive' and the next - off. No sound at all.


  • Nanotechnology. This is in effect a man made equivalent to a biological plague. Whilst nanotechnology (the creation of microscopic machines) could have enormous potential for good it could also cause a 'grey death' where the nano-machines convert the entire mass of the Earth to more machines. An unlikely scenario? You would only need one of these nanobots to be created to start the process. Another 'whimper' scenario first proposed by Eric Drexler, in his book 'Engines of Creation' and was followed by Michael Chrichton's book 'Prey'.


  • Magnetic pole reversal. Geological evidence shows us that the Earth's magnetic poles reverse every 200,000 years on average. The last one was 700,000 years ago so we would seem long overdue for this. When it happens it will have a dramatic effect on the Earth. The main cause for concern is that the Earth's magnetic field which creates the protective Van Allen belts will disappear and Earth will be exposed to very high levels of solar radiation. Some scientists think the magnetic field is already weakening. This would be a 'whimper' event - maybe a good time to invest in sun-screen manufacturer shares.


  • Runaway Greenhouse. In this scenario, the level of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere reaches a point where more heat is trapped in the atmosphere than can be radiated back out into space. Forest fires would greatly add to the effect. The result is a unstoppable temperature rise over a period of years or tens of years, which would be sufficient to wipe out most forms of life very quickly. Venus, where temperatures at the surface are high enough to melt lead, is affected by this phenomenon. It's possible that the release of carbon dioxide and methane into the Earth's atmosphere could trigger the release of trapped methane stored on the oceans floors causing this effect. This is very uncertain however since it may be that the Earth's oceans will absorb whatever we release. Again a 'whimper' event.


  • Superseded by technology. Eventually we will create an artificial intelligence which could replace us as the dominant intelligence on this planet. Something like the scenario on which the Terminator movies are based. The war between it and us would be a bang event. Of course we could carefully program such intelligences with something like the laws of robotics suggested by Isacc Asimov and it could go too far the other way with such intelligences stifling our future development by being over protective - a whimper event.


  • Global Snowball. The very reverse of the runaway greenhouse. Dust from volcanoes or impact events could cause a winter which freezes the oceans. This increases the amount of heat reflected and the temperature in summer is never enough to melt the ice. A very chilly 'whimper' event where we would desperately try to induce a greenhouse effect to solve it!


  • Solar old age. As the Sun uses up all its hydrogen fuel, helium at it's core will start nuclear fusion causing an increase in solar temperature. The result is a gradual increase in size. This process will continue until, around 5 billion years from now, the Sun will be 100 million miles across - encompassing the entire orbit of the Earth. Life will have been extinguished on our planet long before that. The seas will boil off and all gas will be blown away from the Earth by solar storms. It is estimated that 1 billion years from now, the temperature of the Earth will be similar to present-day Venus making life untenable. Given a billion years this will be a long drawn out 'whimper' where our descendants (if we have any by then) will probably bear little resemblance to us today.


  • Alien invasion. Could it be the might be an alien invasion on the lines of 'Independence Day', 'Battlefield Earth' or 'War of the Worlds'. If we were to face a hostile advanced intelligence would we really have any chance against them? Probably a 'Bang' event.


  • Uploads. This is an alternative to developing artificial intelligence which supersedes us. It may be that we will develop the ability to transfer our consciousness to a computer by 'uploading our brains'. If that were the case then many would choose this as an alternative to death. Once this is the case human intelligence can evolve at an ever increasing rate as processors become more powerful, faster and storage capacities increase. The upload would be able to redesign itself and eventually uploads would swamp the 'normal' humans. The question here is whether an upload could count as being human? Humanity as we know it today would wither away. A whimper event.


  • Divine intervention. Most religions suggest that there will come a time when Man's purpose on Earth is achieved and God/the Gods call an end where the good people are separated from the evil ones.
    • In the Christian Biblical account of the Last Judgement, the End of the World is preceded by War, Conquest, Pestilence and Famine, the so-called "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" and the blowing of seven trumpets.
    • Islam nails the Apocalypse down to a formula in the Qur'an, thanks to prophecies by Muhammad. It's the apocalypse when 'x' amount of famine is multiplied by 'y' amount of drought, divided by the square root of 'z' infidels. (It's any day now, in case you were wondering.) Only Allah will know the exact date however but we can watch out for: Fire, Floods, Pestilence, Wars, Rumors of wars, Strange lights in the skies, The Second Coming, A virgin birth, The birth of the Antichrist, A number of false Christs and/or Messiahs, Cloning, Identifying marks being placed on the population at large, Famine, Earthquakes and The Rapture where true believers will be whisked away to heaven.
    • The Hindus believe that the universe is running a cycle which will culminate in a Cosmic Reboot at the end of the Fourth Age (which we are currently enjoying). Currently the world exists in the Age of Kali, the god of destruction. Kali rules over an age of strife, anger and war on earth, which will end with the destruction of everything to pave the way for a new world. Unlike the Christians and Muslims, the Hindus don't believe this event is coming any time soon.
    • Buddhists believe that the seeds of the ending of the universe are present in the creation of the universe. (Quite in tune with cosmology). The "Buddha of our time", Shakyamuni Buddha, did not say he was the first Buddha. He did speak of the end of illusion which would change how we see the universe. In Tibetan Buddhism, it is predicted that the physical universe will end with earth and air being subsumed into water and fire, and all will dissolve into space. Within this cosmology, the end is predicted to be a long way off in the future as there will be 1,000 Buddhas who appear in this fortunate kalpa (great eon).
    • The Mayans too believed in a cyclic world. Their highly detailed and accurate calendar is a list of days in the Fourth Sun, the current cycle of the world. The calendar simply ends on Dec. 21, 2012 (the winter solstice), and the Mayans did not offer a calendar addendum to specify anything much happening after that.
    • The Jews believe they are God's chosen people and that the Messiah will arrive in the future and gather them into Israel. There will be a general resurrection of the (Jewish?) dead, and the Jerusalem Temple destroyed in 70 CE will be rebuilt. I'm not sure on what Jews believe will happen then or to the rest of the world. Perhaps someone more knowledgeable could enlighten me?
    • Zoroastrians believe in a single supreme god Ahura Mazda and an evil spirit Angra Mainyu who opposes. At the end of time there will be a cosmic conflict involving the entire universe.Humanity will be required to choose which to follow. Evil, and the Spirit of Evil, will be completely destroyed at the end of time. Eventually, everything will be purified. Even the occupants of hell will be released.

So lets see - that's 4 'bangs', ten 'whimpers', a 'last trump' and an 'off'. It seems the whimpers have it.

Further reading :

  1. Do we live in a computer simulation?.
  2. The Future of Humanity
  3. Accidents, Malice and "Gray Goo"
  4. If Uploads Come First
  5. Yellowstone supervolcano


Monday, October 13, 2008

I'm sick of 'Doom and Gloom'

If you listen to the media it's all bad news. The stock market is dropping, the banks are failing, we all need to take swimming lessons because of global warming, petrol (gas) costs a fortune, we are all afraid of pandemics, terrorists will kill us and 6:00am December 22nd 2012 (GMT) is rapidly approaching.

Geez. Hasn't the media ever thought of telling us the good news? I for one am sick of 'doom and gloom'. Lets take a look at some of the things they are not telling us about.

  • If the stock market falls - that's a great time to buy! The real reason it's bouncing around is because some people are making a fortune!
  • All those bankers getting into a panic. Can you think of a better bunch of people to wish a bit of strife on? (Well - maybe lawyers and politicians?). Lets face it our money is safe provided we all don't listen to the doom and gloom media.
  • Global warming? Somehow I don't think it will be quite the disaster that some predict. You see there is some great technology rapidly approaching which will turn everything around - more about that later. You just need to be aware that back in 1894 an expert predicted that in fifty years the streets of London would be buried beneath nine feet of horse sh*t.
    Not only can technology come to our rescue but are we actually being told the truth? At the moment it's 'fashionable' to talk about global warming but did you know these indisputable facts?
    • Sea level is rising - at the same rate as it has been for the last 60,000 years.
    • Ice cores do not show a link between the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and temperature
    • Some glaciers are melting - others, just as many, are advancing
    • No matter how big an area of sea ice is which breaks off and melts - it won't affect sea level at all.
    • London and Venice are sinking - that's why they have problems with flooding
    • The vast majority of temperature measuring stations are in cities which are getting warmer because the cities are growing
    • The first global warming predictions for the future were out by an overestimate of 300% - that's not even a good guess! Anyone who supports using a computer model this inaccurate is crazy!

      Don't believe this? Try watching the video below or reading Michael Crichton's book 'State of Fear
      '


  • Gas prices? In the US they were complaining about $4.00 a gallon. Here in the UK we pay more than twice that. The good news is that we don't live in Sierra Leone where gas rapidly approached $20.00 per gallon. More good news is that the price of oil has dropped 40% in the last 3 months. If you are still furious about it then move to Venezuela where you can buy it for just $0.17 per gallon.
  • Health? Have you been watching the astonishing developments in medicine? Looks like we may soon prevent cancer, Alzheimer's disease, heart attacks and lots of others including the common cold.
  • Terrorists? Guess what - the problem is being blown out of all proportion. You are more likely to be killed by a bolt of lightning than by a terrorist. Far more sensible things to worry about are heart disease, cancer, strokes, accidents, diabetes, Alzheimer's disease, flu and pneumonia, kidney disease, septicemia, suicide, liver disease, hypertension, Parkinson's disease and drowning in that order. According to the statistics I found the risk of terrorists killing you appears at number 80 on the list of possible deaths at a 1 in 9,300,000 chance. Just to put it in perspective you have a 1 in 4,297,630 chance of being killed by legal execution.
  • That 6:00am GMT time on 21st Dec 2012 marks the end of the Mayan Calender. (the Mayans were on Central time, 6 hours behind us Brits). Hey - the calendar hanging on my wall ends on 4th Jan 2009 but that doesn't mean there won't be a 5th Jan!
Now what about those technology advancements I mentioned?

  • The Large Hadron Collider, is complete and though there are a few technical problems to iron out (and a few repairs to do), looks to give us lots of advancements in physics. It might be possible to produce mini black holes (singularities) which any Trekkie will tell you are used in the power source of Romulan spaceships. Now I know that's science fiction but in theory a mini black hole could be a tremendous source of energy. Its not a matter of 'will' it happen - its a matter of 'when'.
  • It begins to look like nuclear fusion experiments will soon produce more energy than they put in. When that happens - and it will - then cheap almost unlimited power will be available. It won't produce huge quantities of deadly radioactive by-products and will wipe out at a stroke much of our carbon emissions.
  • Cheap electricity will offer car manufactures an incentive to produce electric vehicles.
  • New technology such as the free piston engine which could out perform fuel cells, offers a better, simpler and cheaper way of producing power for vehicles. Couple that with a car like the Extended-Range Electric Vehicle (or EREV), Chevy Volt and you'll have a vehicle which can run on any fuel including pollution free hydrogen, ethanol and gasoline but most of the time will run on stored cheap electricity. Again wiping out much of our carbon emissions.
  • In the last few weeks we have heard of cures for cancer using carbon nano tubes, drugs such as Abiraterone and radioactive scorpion venom, treatment for Alzheimer's disease using anti-inflammatory drugs, Parkinson's disease being slowed by the use of vitamins and flu vaccines being more effective and quicker by inhalation.
  • Even more dramatic is the effect genetic research will have on us. Its a matter of time before the death gene is figured out and a virus is used to fix it. How about living a productive life for 200 years! Now I know that that will cause population problems but it will also give us the incentive to move outwards from our planet and secure the future of the human race. I for one don't want to sit and be a target waiting for the next comet to wipe out humanity.
  • Have you noticed how the power requirement of electrical equipment is dropping? It's not just things like computers and TVs; its even heavy duty items like heaters and air conditioners. The trick is to make them more efficient and better insulated. Technology is doing just that.
  • We all moan about the price of oil and that's inevitable as this limited resource is used up for heating and as a fuel for transport. Unfortunately that's the last thing we should be using it for. In the future it will be needed as a feedstock for making plastics and other chemicals. Burning oil, natural gas and coal as a fuel makes the price of plastics and chemicals higher than it should be. In the future we can look forward to cheaper products because our energy will come from cheap, pollution free power sources leaving the oil and natural gas to be used for chemical feedstocks. Think what that will do to the world economy!
So there we have it. Doom and gloom? Not in my future.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

BT Anywhere Broadband?

A catalogue of delivery failures.

Since I moved house to an area without cable broadband I've been using Virgin Media 'Up to 8 MB' adsl broadband - or in this case it was 'broadbad'. Despite repeated calls to their technical support my connection speed steadily dropped. It started at 1.7MB in April but when it finally sunk to just 107 bytes per second (yes that's right not even kilobytes) I had had enough. I finally got through to a tech support guy who admitted that they couldn't provide me with the 2MB download speed they had first offered me and that although they had plans to improve things at my local exchange - Hexham, they wouldn't be able to do so for several months.

Part of the problem was my distance from the exchange - 4.7 kilometres; part of the problem is obviously my line which hisses, crackles and is very quiet. The rest of the problem was Virgin's contention ratio and their reluctance to get anything done about my line. Although I was just six months into a one year contract I negotiated a penalty free MAC code from Virgin and contacted BT to join their Anywhere broadband service.

Now why BT Anywhere? Well I had several reasons:
  • I wanted an 'unlimited' service
  • I liked the idea of being able to connect anywhere without further charges
  • I liked the idea of a second Internet phone with it's own number which allowed my family to make up to three simultaneous phone calls at the same time
  • I wanted a faster wireless N router with a better range that would go through the three foot thick stone walls of my house
  • I needed a new mobile phone to replace my aging Motorola V3 and O2 XDA Exec brick
  • I liked BT's mobile price structure. The total cost would be less than my Virgin broadband and T-mobile contract
  • I reasoned I would have a better chance of a BT Broadband engineer doing something about my awful line quality if I was a BT customer
Although not rated as the 'best' ISP (That honour belongs to Zen Internet), BT offered the most in my particular area.

I contacted BT by phone to order BT Anywhere Broadband and quickly got through to a very helpful lady called Virginia and discussed my requirements.
  • Yes I could get BT Anywhere in my area and would be able to get 512KB download speed
  • Yes a new smartphone was included in the price and I could upgrade it to an even better one the HTCs710 for an extra charge of £29.99
  • The smartphone included 50 minutes talk time and 50 texts, unlimited GSM Internet access or it could be used unlimited on the wireless network, unlimited BT FON system or 500 minutes on the BT Openzone network
  • A wireless N modem/router was included which 'could give up to twice the range of my existing wireless G router
  • An Internet phone was included, the BT Hub phone, which would have it's own number and offer Skype style calling to the USA (1.25p/min to both landlines and cell phones) etc
  • For the first three months it would be £23.99 then £29.99 thereafter, an 18 month contract.
I decided to go ahead and ordered the HTCs710 phone. I was told the broadband would be activated on 7th October and the equipment would be with me by 6th October. (Delivery promise 1)

I was very impressed when at 2:00pm the next day a large box was delivered by a BT courier!
great service I thought and sat down to open it.

Inside was a large packing list telling me what I should have and there my problems started.
I got:
  1. The BT home hub
  2. A sim chip for the mobile phone
  3. an HTCs620 mobile phone
  4. No Hub phone
'Great, they've sent me the wrong phone and not sent me the Hub phone' I thought and rang them up.

The person I got through to was very apologetic and said the wrong phone had been ordered and for some unexplainable reason the Hub phone had not been put on the order list. She would have the wrong phone picked up by the person who delivered the missing bits and it would be with me by the 6th October. (Delivery promise 2)

I waited in all that week, expecting a fast delivery as before but nothing arrived. On 6th October I checked my order progress and had it confirmed by their website that my equipment would be delivered by 7:00pm

7:00pm came and went with no delivery so I got back on the phone. They were very sorry but my order did not show on the system. They said they had corrected this and my missing phones would be with me tomorrow. (Delivery promise 3)

On 7th October at 2:00pm my Virgin Media connection stopped working and I connected up the BT Hub and followed the instructions to install it. The installation CD didn't work, telling me my password was wrong, but I was able to manually enter the information provided to set the new connection up. The connection was a bit flaky at first but the documentation warned me that this would be the case for the first 24 hours and that connection speed would gradually improve over the first 10 days.

7:00pm again came with no delivery of phones although I did get an e-mail telling me it would be with me by 7:00pm. I got back on the phone and after waiting in a call queue for 45 minutes was told their system was down and could I call back the next day?

8th October 9:00am I called again and after queueing for 30 minutes was told that there was no delivery scheduled for my address. Would I like to speak to the BT Anywhere team? I did and after explaining the problem yet again I was told that there was a delivery scheduled and it would be with me by 7:00pm today. (Delivery promise 4). On the positive side my adsl speed rose from an average of 233KB/s to almost the 512KB/s promised. (I really miss the 20MB Cable connection I had in Essex)

7:00pm came and went with no phones delivered. I got back on the phone thanking my lucky stars that unlike Virgin, BT don't charge for calling them. This time I spoke to Robert Wilson who told me for some reason the order had not gone through and that he had re-ordered it for delivery/collection on Friday 10th Oct. (Delivery promise 5).

Friday morning I contacted the BT delivery section and checked that they had indeed a delivery scheduled for my address; 'Yes it will be with you by 7:00pm today'.

7:00pm - still no phones! I called BT yet again and after being on hold 15 min and cut off twice I spoke to Kelsey in Dundee who told me there was now a message on the system that if I called back I should be told that the delivery would not be today. I asked Kelsey if BT had not thought of using the phone to tell me that instead of having me waiting around all day to find it out the hard way! Perhaps BT had the name wrong and it should be called 'BT Nowhere'? Again Kelsey was very apologetic and assured me that the order was in the pipeline and would definitely be with me on Saturday - yes the courier did work weekends. (Delivery promise 6)

You guessed it - 7:00pm came and went on Saturday and still no phones.

So that's six broken promises BT. Guess who's going to get a flea in their ear come Monday? I suspect the saga will continue.

Update 13th Oct

I rang BT (0800 0322 111) and spoke to 'Jan'. She checked and found no order was showing on their system - again. She was very apologetic and told me she would get the Hub phone sent to me. This time she gave me an order number and a delivery date of 16th Oct. (Delivery promise 7) She then passed me on to Chris of the BT Anywhere sales team who looked into the problem. It seems the last order had a delivery date of 10th September rather than October and this confused their system. Chris ordered the correct mobile phone for me and promised I would receive it tomorrow, 14th Oct. (Delivery promise 8) He also arranged a bag for the return of the wrong mobile and gave me order references for both. He checked and confirmed the order number that Jan had given me was on the system and confirmed the delivery date. Best of all he told me there would be no extra charge of £29.99 for the upgrade to the HTCs710 phone.

Full marks to BT for polite sales team and promises but I'll reserve judgement as to whether they are capable of keeping them. I wonder if anyone else has had 8 or more delivery promises from BT?

Update 14th Oct 2008
Finally, after all this time BT delivered my missing mobile phone. Full marks to Chris for being the first to keep a promise.
Update 16th Oct 2008
Jan delivered too. Finally I have the complete package. I'm happy with it and my download speed has improved greatly. It's just a shame it took so many phone calls to get everything in place. At least, however, the phone calls are to an 0800 phone number and free, unlike those made to Virgin Media.
Update March 10 2009
Well I'm still happy with BT Anywhere broadband BUT BT dropped yet another one!
I gave them a PAC code to transfer my old phone number from T-Mobile. I know they used it because I started getting mobile phone bills with the number on them. After a while however the number changed and T-Mobile reclaimed the number. That meant they started billing me for it again and since I'd cancelled the direct debit for it, I built up a £30 bill before they bothered to write to me and complain it hadn't been paid. Naturally I pointed out that the service had been cancelled back in September 2008 and the number transferred to BT.
"Oh - so you did" said the guy from T-Mobile. "But BT never confirmed they had taken the number over so it went back to us. Now if you just pay..."
"Not a chance" said I "Take it up with BT."

Monday, October 06, 2008

On My Cat

OK - I admit it. The picture is a fake.
The anvil is made of papier mache.










Now if I just wait here - maybe...







Now I know you guys are moving but you won't forget me will you?







...or me!



Thursday, September 18, 2008

"Internet Explorer has stopped working" - again!

A while ago I was getting this message "Internet Explorer has stopped working" whenever I used Internet Explorer. It often happened when I was using the program but always happened whenever I closed the program - something I found irritating since it made closing IE a two click operation. Firefox 3 is my default browser but since I check web pages in several different browsers to make sure they work properly and this was beginning to annoy me.

At first I thought it was merely a bug in Internet Explorer 8 Beta 1 which I was testing. I researched the problem on Internet looking for a cure but nothing I did seemed to stop the problem.

'Oh well' I thought. 'Time to un-install IE8 Beta 1'. I did and fired up IE7 to test it. It seemed fine until I closed it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working" A little more research was needed.

I disabled all plugins. A number of them have been pointed at as the cause of the problem including Omnipage (which I don't have), Yahoo and Skype (which I did have). I still got "Internet Explorer has stopped working" every time I closed IE (version 7 now).

I reset IE using the 'Advanced' options - Open Control Panel > Internet Options > Advanced (tab) > under " Reset Internet Explorer settings, click "Reset". I opened IE, closed it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working".

I cleared all cookies, opened IE, closed it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working".

I deleted the cache, browser history and cookies again, opened IE, closed it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working".

On one site I found the suggestion that I make IE the default browser and then go through the install and uninstall routine for IE8 beta 1 again before reseting Firefox as the default again. I tried it and got ... "Internet Explorer has stopped working"

Then Internet Explorer beta 2 came out. I installed it and for a while success! I could open and close IE without seeing "Internet Explorer has stopped working". The success was short lived however I soon got "Internet Explorer has stopped working" not only when I closed IE but also at times when IE was not even loaded - probably the latter being caused by EditPlus, the text editor I use often which uses the IE engine to display web pages being worked on.

I'm still looking for a reliable cure. At the moment I've disabled IE's 'Protected Mode' - Thats done in Control panel > Internet Options > Security tab > uncheck 'Enable Protected Mode'. It causes IE to display a warning when using it, but there's an option when you click it to not repeat the warning. It's also something I wouldn't want to do unless you have an up-to-date anti-malware program. I use Kaspersky Internet Security which gets updated hourly.

For the moment I get no "Internet Explorer has stopped working" error messages but then I've been here before. I'll let you know what happens.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

My war against the rabbits


This morning at 5:00am I was out in the garden, dressed only in a bathrobe, wielding a large stick and for half an hour I chased a rabbit with murder in my heart!

The little B*##~% got away!

It all started when we moved to a new house out in the country. There was a lot to do in the house but outside - the garden could only be described as a disaster area. It was a wilderness of weeds, grass, stone, wire a ramshackle shed/greenhouse and a mound of bricks. There were rabbits everywhere.

I suppose that's what comes of living on a hill between a derelict railway line(at the left of the picture) and a main road (on the right) with a forest on the other side of the rail bed. The soil contains a lot of ash from the steam trains which used to run here and in the trees surrounding us on both sides there are rabbit warrens.

At first we thought they were cute. They had been undisturbed for a while and didn't seem too concerned by our presence. They just kept about 10 yards away and kept on nibbling. When we came home in the car there were usually four or five running along the drive (the old rail bed) in front of us.

For a while they didn't annoy us. We were too busy working on fixing up the house inside to bother with the garden. It was April - warm and wet this year - the grass was growing fast but I didn't have to mow the lawn, the rabbits did that for us. Eventually we just had to do something about that garden. It was obvious that with so many rabbits around vegetables were out of the question so we mowed the lawn, used some of the bricks to make a path and planted a few flowers. The flowers were promptly eaten.

"Oh well" we thought, "once we can let the cats out they'll chase the rabbits off and we can just plant stuff the rabbits won't eat for now." A little research on Internet soon told us however that rabbits are a gardeners WORST enemy but that they wouldn't eat daffodils, forget-me-nots or roses. Daffodils and forget-me-nots abounded in the garden already so we bought some roses and planted those. By morning there were just the stems left. Rabbits WILL eat roses!

"Oh there are lots of things they won't eat" said a guy in our local garden centre. "Its just that no one is quite sure just what they don't like. We have chicken wire that keeps them out though."
"They won't eat marigolds" said a customer at the checkout. We bought chicken wire, marigolds and some begonias which we thought we could protect.

Back home we planted the marigolds and started work on surrounding the garden with a 'rabbit proof' fence. It was obvious that this would take some time so we built a cage with some old wire we found to surround the begonias. The next morning we discovered that rabbits do not like marigolds - in fact they hate them so much they bite the flowers off and drop them so that they don't produce seed and spread further.

I used more of the bricks to build a section of wall on the side next to the road and used corrugated iron sheets too. On the railway line side we repaired the fence already there and used more bricks dug down into the ground to stop the rabbits digging under it. Next to the house and at the far end of the garden we completed a new fence and two gates across the paths. "That should do it." we thought after we blocked up the rabbit holes with bricks and finally let our two cats loose.

It was at this point that we discovered that rabbits can get through 50mm chicken wire!
Three of them got in; one escaped through the wire and two were caught alive when they chose to hide behind our garden table stacked on edge at the side of the fence. We used our cat box as a cage for them and started experimenting to see just what they would eat.

We bought 20mm rabbit wire, split the rolls down the middle and put it on top of our existing fence near the ground to keep out those young ones which could get through the 50mm wire. We reasoned that we didn't need the full height wire since the little ones couldn't reach the 50mm section at the top and the bigger ones which could would be too big to get through it. This time we thought we had done it.

Next morning the garden was still full of rabbits which disappeared under the garden shed when we chased them. They had dug a tunnel under it from the warren by the side of the road. I surrounded the shed base with a brick wall sealing them off.

Next morning at 5:00am our son woke me up to tell me there was squealing downstairs. It turned out that one of our cats had caught a rabbit and brought it into the house to play with. It was still alive but only just. I cleaned up the blood from the living room carpet and gave it the coupe de grasse.

The rabbit population started to drop. Our cats killed at least three that we know of, a family of weasels moved into our neighbourhood and a fox can be heard barking at night (much to the annoyance of the local gamekeeper who is rearing pheasants in our wood).

For a few days we thought we had them beaten. The grass on our lawn started to grow and dandelions started to appear. It seems dandelions are a rabbit favourite. Our experiments with the ones we captured seemed to show that they will eat just about anything if they are hungry enough unless the plant is poisonous e.g. foxgloves. Some plants they obviously don't like but will nibble at and drop. Some plants - like marigolds, they won't eat but do their best to destroy. We found a booklet 'Gardening With The Enemy' by Janet Thompson which was some help which has a list of rabbit resistant plants. It's list isn't perfect though since we found some plants they rate as 'rabbit safe' get eaten by ours and others they bite and spit out. We felt confident enough to buy over a hundred pounds worth of plants and plant out the sweet peas we knew they love above all other plants.

And that brings me to this morning when I got up to go to the bathroom and looked out of the window to see a rabbit eating the sweet peas ...aaaggghhh! The worst of it is that I can't find where it got in and it couldn't get out easily until it escaped over the remains of the brick pile.

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