The best lie I ever told

A while back I developed a skin cancer on the end of my nose. It was a small whitish patch which disappeared and reappeared and which I eventually mentioned to my doctor. Tests confirmed it was a basal cell carcinoma. I went to a hospital in Newcastle for treatment.

Treatment involved surgically removing the cancer which is then sent to the lab to examine the edges. If the edges prove cancer free the wound will be stitched up. If the edges are cancerous, back you go for further surgical removal of the area. It's all done under local anesthetic and I didn't feel any pain.

The Surgeon who did my operation was treating a number of us on the same day. After the operation I was bandaged and sent back to the waiting room - a room full of people with huge bandages on their nose. We were told that it would be an hour or two before our results came back from the lab so if we wished we could go for a walk, have a coffee or a meal in the hospital restaurant.

Coffee! It was three hours since I had coffee and I was willing to brave the restaurant  despite the huge bandage. I made a quick trip back to my car to make a phone call and took this picture first.

Off I walked down the long hospital corridor to the restaurant and walking towards me the other way was a small boy and his mother.

"Mam! What's wrong with that man's nose?" he asked loudly. I could see his mother cringing in embarrassment. I stopped.
"My name is Pinocchio. You might have heard of me. I grew up." I said.

"Yeess..."
"I've always had this problem about telling lies and every time I tell one it makes my nose grow a little bit. So every now and then I come in here and get a bit chopped off."
"Oh. I see." said the boy looking worried but apparently quite satisfied.

Mum entered into the spirit of the story and turned on him, "And that's why I keep telling you not to tell lies!"

Off I walked trying to keep a straight face and it was only afterwards that I remembered that I had nightmares after seeing Pinocchio as a four year old.

Anyway, the cancer proved to be gone and the surgeon stitched up the end of my nose leaving it a better shape now than it was before. I spent two weeks looking like Gonzo though before all the bandages came off.

I'm still proud of that lie but I hope he didn't get nightmares.